Tom Papa > Quotes

“When I see someone with six-pack abs, I know we won’t have fun because that person doesn’t know what fun is. Their idea of a good time is putting on tight shorts and working on their stomach muscles. Someone with love handles is putting on oven mitts and working on baking the perfect cinnamon buns. They’re fun.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“The more money you make, the more you spend on stupid stuff and the more you grow your life into something bigger, and that bigger life needs even more money. Ultimately you end up more stressed than when you started out. The trick is to live a small, simple life, but for some reason we aren’t built that way. We always want more. And it’s stupid.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“Life isn’t easy. It’s actually extremely difficult, with only one guaranteed ending. But you should refuse to waste it, if not for yourself, then for everyone around you.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“We are all nothing more than a collection of stories.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“Although he wasn't trying to, he had taught me one of the most meaningful lessons about love that I have ever received- that when all else is lost, love is the one thing that remains.”
― Tom Papa, We're All in This Together . . .: So Make Some Room

“Life isn't easy. It's actually extremely difficult, with only one guaranteed ending. But you should refuse to waste it, if not for yourself, then for everyone around you. That was my grandmothers' greatest trick--they weren't living this way for themselves, it was for the sole purpose of helping others. Just knowing that we have the power to make it a little easier for everyone else who is muddling through should be enough to make us try.

Try and be strong. Try and be better. Try to enjoy.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“Complaining isn’t only bad for other people—it’s bad for you. You start to convince yourself that things are supposed to go wrong. It becomes a part of your act, and the universe starts to play along.”
― Tom Papa, We're All in This Together . . .: So Make Some Room

“our cat has the biggest heart in the animal kingdom. He’s given us dead mice delivered in two pieces, injured mice trying to make a run for it with one leg, and punctured birds released in our bed. My daughter once woke up in the middle of the night with a mouse rustling around in her hair! My wife woke up to a dead hummingbird on her chest. My other daughter received a live rat in her bathroom who threw in the added bonus of peeing in her shower cap. Luckily she noticed it just as she was about to put it on her head. We’ve had birds with one wing, birds with no legs, birds who just gave up, laid on their backs, and begged us to kill them.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“no presents for dad As the next holiday approaches—and it doesn’t matter when you are reading this, a holiday is always approaching—I have some great news for you. You don’t have to buy your father a gift. That’s right, you’re off the hook. No more worrying about what Dad wants. Ever again. No more racing through the mall at the last minute, pricing out ties, looking at mini helicopters, and asking strangers what they got for their father. There is literally nothing he needs and nothing you need to buy. This isn’t a fake “Aw shucks, don’t worry about little old me” routine. This is real. He doesn’t want a damn thing. Think of your father as a clam. He has his house, he’s in it, he’s good. You wouldn’t give a clam a new sweater with a snowman on it. He’d never wear it. Neither will your dad.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“One of the bravest of all public servants has to be the teacher of sixth-grade boys. How they can do their job without wearing a gas mask just doesn’t make sense to me. These are boys who are at their peak of stench-hood and avoid bathing at all costs. They don’t make windows big enough to release all the horrid, prepubescent odors wafting around those desks.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“Yelling in my family didn’t mean you were angry, you were just communicating in a timely fashion”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“I see them side by side, holding each other up like cartoon drunks, forging ahead, conquering all the treacherous obstacles in their way: parking lots, curbs, heavy doors, building directories, vaguely marked elevator keys, stairs, a loose paper cup blown across their path. It’s a minefield out there.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“How about rugs filled with dog pee? Windowsills covered in cat vomit. Shoes filled with cat vomit. Blankets filled with cat vomit. My cat throws up so often he must think it’s the top line in his job description. “If you’re looking for someone to throw up, rub their ass on things, and throw up again, I’m your cat.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“Try and be strong. Try and be better. Try to enjoy.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“We're all somewhat unpleasant--which is another way of saying disgusting--and we're all flawed. All of us. That's what love is. Finding someone whose flaws you can put up with.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“Honestly, you looked awful yesterday, you’re going to look a little worse tomorrow. Why are we even talking about this? Let’s get some ice cream and enjoy the day.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive

“What doesn’t count as a romantic getaway is any trip that involves any of your family. You can’t call anything a “getaway” if it involves bringing the people you’re trying to get away from.”
― Tom Papa, Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas

“Social media is like a photo album with all the bad parts taken out.”
― Tom Papa, You're Doing Great!: And Other Reasons to Stay Alive