Ana Nogales > Quotes

“Most children still want and expect their parents to be a faithful couple. Children are more likely to thrive when their parents are stable and focused on the family rather than on an outside romantic relationship.”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

“The child identifies with the parent who has been betrayed because he is suffering immeasurable loss as well—the loss of trust in one or both parents, the loss of both parents’ ability to be an attentive parent, the loss of faith in the cohesiveness of the family, and, of course, a loss of innocence.”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

“When children of any age learn of a parent’s infidelity, they usually find it extremely difficult—if not impossible— to trust that someone they love will not lie to them, reject or abandon them, or otherwise cause them pain somewhere down the road. They very often learn not to put their faith in love, and they may also learn that they are not worthy of receiving monogamous love, because according to the evidence, their betrayed parent clearly wasn’t.”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

“children whose parents have been unfaithful are often pressured to become the caretaker of the betrayed parent, thus adding to the son’s or daughter’s emotional stress. Young children may be unable to articulate their anger, anxiety, and confusion. They might act out, regress, or withdraw. And when an adult child’s family baggage includes lies, cheating, and the breaking of promises, they may have a particularly hard time navigating the rough waters of dating and marriage.”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

“Seventy-five percent of those who responded to our “Parents Who Cheat” survey reported that they felt betrayed by the parent who cheated. Sixty-two percent felt ashamed. Eighty percent felt that their attitude toward love and relationships was influenced by their parent having cheated, and 70 percent said that their ability to trust others had been affected. Eighty-three percent stated that they feel people regularly lie. And yet, 86 percent reported that they still believe in monogamy!”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful

“While they have nothing to do with one parent’s decision to cheat on the other, children are often left feeling guilty, hopeless, tainted, or damaged— words they often use. As adults, children whose parents cheated are frequently unable to enjoy a healthy relationship because they are plagued by a profound lack of trust, an attraction to partners who cheat, or a proclivity toward infidelity themselves.”
― Ana Nogales, Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful