Neil LaBute > Quotes

“The future is now. It's time to grow up and be strong. Tomorrow may well be too late.”
― Neil LaBute, Reasons to Be Pretty

“You're crossing the ocean on a wooden ship. One of the boards rots, so you replace it with another that you've stored on your hold. It is still the same ship? Most people will agree that it is. But what if, bit by bit, as you make your journey, your ships sustains more and more damage, so that by the time you reach your destination, you have substituted each piece with its counterpart and not a single piece remains unreplaced. Now is it the same ship? Why or why not? How much of a thing is its pattern and how much its physical material? I was fascinated by the question of wether and how long you could remain the same person after casting off part of your body or, for that matter, after casting part of your history, part of your personality, part of your life.”
― Neil LaBute, My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me: Forty New Fairy Tales

“Maybe that's what Hell is, in the end. All of your wrongful shit played out there in front of you while you're being pumped from behind by someone you've hurt. That you've screwed over in life. Or worse, worse still...some person who doesn't really love you anymore. No one to ever look at again, make contact with. Just you being fucked as your life splashes out across this big headboard in the Devil's bedroom. Maybe. Even if that's not it, even if Hell is all fire and sulfur and that sort of thing, it couldn't be much worse than that.”
― Neil LaBute, The Mercy Seat: A Play

“I'm saying the American way is to overcome, to conquer, to come out on top. And we do it by spending and eating and screwing our women harder than anyone else. That's all I'm saying.”
― Neil LaBute, The Mercy Seat: A Play

“I thought maybe you were different, but you ended up being the same kind of lame guy that I perpetually date, and it just freaks me out a little. That maybe you’re the only type out there. These baby boys who run around in nice clothes, but all they really wanna do is breast-feed for the rest of their days …”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“you thank your heavenly father for giving you strength to stand up to his trials and figure there must be a plan behind it all, a reason for so much pain and you just…go on.”
― Neil LaBute, Bash: Three Plays

“this was a thing you keep up on in high school, girls you secretly like but can’t get at ’cause they’re dating somebody, maybe a friend, and so you file ’em away and hope the guy joins the army and gets sent to laos or something…”
― Neil LaBute, Bash: Three Plays

“WRITER So, go on then, get all smart about it—can you deny what I’m saying? Huh? Jesus was not some . . . Indonesian guy! He just wasn’t. ACTOR I’m not Indonesian! Jesus Christ!”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“CARTER Come on, be honest! The thing they represent that’s so scary is what we could be, how vulnerable we all are. I mean, any of us. Some wrong gene splice, a bad backflip off the trampoline … too many cartons of Oreos! We’re all just one step away from being what frightens us. What we despise. So … we despise it when we see it in anybody else.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“Look, you’re not French, let’s face it . . . and who wants to be, anyway, in this day and age? Being French is way past cool.”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“Listen, I speak from experience when I say . . . just because some man doesn’t have one does not necessarily mean that he can’t be one.”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“TOM … Go on, jump in there. (Prompts her.) Be brave.

HELEN You’re absolutely sure it’s dead, right? Because if it’s just holding its breath, then I’m …

LaBute, Neil (2004-11-29). Fat Pig: A Play (p. 27). Faber & Faber. Kindle Edition.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig

“WAITRESS 2 Then, the topper . . . an elbow to the ribs . . . “Hey, you make it?” Really sensitive, like we’ve got a fucking recipe for an orgasm!”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“WAITRESS 1 What do I hope for in a guy? Everything . . . Pause. WAITRESS 1 What do I expect? Not much . . . Pause. WAITRESS 1 What’ll I take? Usually . . . anything . . .”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“CARTER It’s whatever. Truth. People are not comfortable with difference. You know? Fags, retards, cripples. Fat people. Old folks, even. They scare us or something.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“TOM Come on! Seriously … HELEN Okay, okay … I’m … (Beat.) You have my hand there, you know. TOM Yeah, I … is that not …? HELEN It’s fine. Just wanted to ask and see if it was an accident or not. TOM Umm … no. It wasn’t, no. But … now you’re making me self-conscious.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“MAN No doubt about that—I can’t even call ’em “girls” without getting hit by a lawsuit, so … (Grins.) You’re a librarian? WOMAN Yeah. Well, we don’t really use that term anymore, but, ahh … MAN Sure, of course! It’s probably, like, “printed-word specialist” or something now, I suppose … WOMAN Exactly.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“TOM Old people, though? Come on. We’re all gonna age. It’s … CARTER Not me. I hope I’m a goner before then. The elderly make me sick …”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“WRITER Actors come and go, pal—you guys are the furniture, okay? What I write is the house. Let’s not get all precious about it . . .”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“I mean, I’m as fucked up and miserable as the next person, but I don’t let it get me down. You know?”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“Are you in here for an actual reason?

CARTER Pretty much. I don’t remember what it is, but I’m sure I had one when I started down the hall …

TOM Perfect.

CARTER Oh, yeah, now I recall . Because I was bored in my office … (Beat.) Plus, you have nicer windows.

TOM Feel free to open one and jump …

LaBute, Neil (2004-11-29). Fat Pig: A Play (pp. 18-19). Faber & Faber. Kindle Edition.”
― Neil LaBute

“Hey, I’m not English. I’ve turned out to be a pretty complicated girl, but at least I don’t drink warm beer …”
― Neil LaBute, Some Girl

“MAN 3 . . . fuck, I’m glad I’m a guy! You know? MAN 5 Yeah, why’s that? Pause. MAN 3 . . . because then I don’t have to date ’em.”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“WRITER Right, but no offense, you guys eat dogs for lunch and many of us in the West here find that disgusting, so . . . ACTOR I’m not Korean, you prick! I’m of Chinese descent but I was born in Idaho! I-da-ho. You got that? / My God . . .”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“see, we been doing things wrong for so long now that it all starts to feel okay after a while, you know, like this is how it oughta be.”
― Neil LaBute, Bash: Three Plays

“I get a bunch of productions in, like, Germany and Poland . . . It doesn’t matter, places.”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“WOMAN Really? Handsome guy like you and that’s all you’re good for … to look at? MAN Pretty much. WOMAN Good to know. (Opens a pudding.) You want one? MAN Nah, I shouldn’t … WOMAN Why? MAN Excellent question. Okay.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play

“What’s the South African thing that I always mix up with “apathy”? (Thinks.) “Apartheid!” That wasn’t me, so just get down off your high horse, okay?”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“WAITRESS 1 Actually, the last thing I want is to be alone, but . . . the other last thing is to be with someone.”
― Neil LaBute, Filthy Talk for Troubled Times: And Other Plays

“JEANNIE It’s not like she’s … She’s really fat, Tom! A fat sow and you know it. I can tell you’re aware by the way you’re acting, which is really the puzzling part … TOM I-like-her. End of story.”
― Neil LaBute, Fat Pig: A Play