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“On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.”
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“Cats are people, and the sooner the world accepts that fact, the better off the world will be.”
― Rhubarb
― Rhubarb
“Personally, I never admired communists because they operate on the theory that human beings are nice people.”
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“We believe in healthy, hearty laughter -- at the expense of the whole human race, if needs be. Needs be.”
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“When I was five years old I fell head downward into an empty cistern and was not found until six hours later, at which time I was quietly eating dirt. The year after that I fell out of a neighbor’s barn loft. These experiences constitute an adequate preparation for a career in journalism — the equivalent of four years in college”
― Low Man on a Totem Pole
― Low Man on a Totem Pole
“From tender infancy Smith has been an early riser. He sleeps so little that Morpheus barely knows him by sight. When he dreams he only has time for a synopsis. He was the first man to discover that you can cut a sleeping pill in half and enjoy a nap.”
― Low Man on a Totem Pole
― Low Man on a Totem Pole




