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“On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.”
H. Allen Smith
“Cats are people, and the sooner the world accepts that fact, the better off the world will be.”
H. Allen Smith, Rhubarb
tags: cats
“Personally, I never admired communists because they operate on the theory that human beings are nice people.”
H. Allen Smith
“We believe in healthy, hearty laughter -- at the expense of the whole human race, if needs be. Needs be.”
H. Allen Smith
tags: humor
“When I was five years old I fell head downward into an empty cistern and was not found until six hours later, at which time I was quietly eating dirt. The year after that I fell out of a neighbor’s barn loft. These experiences constitute an adequate preparation for a career in journalism — the equivalent of four years in college”
H. Allen Smith, Low Man on a Totem Pole
“From tender infancy Smith has been an early riser. He sleeps so little that Morpheus barely knows him by sight. When he dreams he only has time for a synopsis. He was the first man to discover that you can cut a sleeping pill in half and enjoy a nap.”
H. Allen Smith, Low Man on a Totem Pole

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Rhubarb Rhubarb
118 ratings