Ellie Kemper > Quotes

“My favorite feature is my red hair. Why wouldn't it be? It sets me apart from other people who don't have red hair, and it instantly bonds me with people who do. Experts often say that redheads are an endangered species - but experts say a lot of things. My own hasty scans of sidewalks and shopping malls show plenty of us out and about. Maybe the experts are just saying that because they are jealous of all the redheads - and the only revenge they know is to claim that we will all die.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“I knew that I needed to quiet my mind; lucky for me, there is no place to quiet your mind like the northernmost edge of Manhattan's Times Square.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“You’ve got a lame hand.' This was the clinical term for my condition. 'I’m not really sure why,' the doctor concluded. I looked at this man and I realized that I, too, could have been a doctor.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“One of my great hobbies in life is feeling sorry for myself. Nothing makes me feel more alive than when I suspect I have been wronged. Oh, the energy!”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“Some people think they can barge in and give you their opinion even though you didn't ask for it.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“Have you ever noticed that when God closes a door, he opens a window? Neither have I. But I have noticed that timing and luck sometimes line up in such a way that you can catch a break.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“There is no greater punishment than shame', I recalled from either an old Buddhist text or something my high school indoor soccer coach said once.”
― Ellie Kemper

“Sometimes it’s just about feeling comfortable in your own pants.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“I knew that you catch more flies with honey, and so I was ready to be a one-woman army of bees.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“Like Sally Hawkins with the creature of water, I seemed to have developed a crush on something that wasn't exactly a person, but was definitely smarter than a fish.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“The point is, sometimes it's good to be in charge. But also, sometimes it's less stressful not to have to do all that work.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days

“Plans, schedules, and structure make me feel secure in a world that - let's just say it - is going straight to hell.”
― Ellie Kemper, My Squirrel Days