Elisabeth Corey > Quotes

“We don’t widely accept the idea that bad things happen for uncontrollable reasons because of fear. How could that be? If that is true, we can’t make sense of it with our cognitive brains. And that is scary. If that is true, there is no way for us to control those things while in human form. And that is scary. So we search for meaning, a less scary understanding. And we usually end up assuming the victim is to blame.”
― Elisabeth Corey

“As we let go of our need to control, we find freedom.”
― Elisabeth Corey

“We don’t heal so we can tolerate more abuse from others. We heal so we can stop tolerating abuse from others. We heal so we can respect ourselves enough to set boundaries and even build walls when needed. The people who benefitted from our lack of boundaries are not always going to respond well to our new-found self-respect. Many will walk away which can make our recovery feel isolated. As we keep putting our healing first and saying no to boundary invasions, we can build better relationships. When your inner parts tell you they are afraid to be rejected or abandoned, let them express from it, but help them see the benefit to putting self first. This is a long-term investment in your inner peace.”
― Elisabeth Corey

“I was chosen as the scapegoat. For a long time, I was sure something was wrong with me. Why else would they choose me as the scapegoat? I now realize the truth. Scapegoats aren’t the bad family members. We are the dangerous family members. Dangerous means not conforming, speaking up, standing up and fighting back. The scapegoats must not be considered credible by anyone else. This is the family’s top priority. They will protect the family’s reputation by destroying the scapegoat who is trying to tell the truth. I was the scapegoat because I was the threat. That’s how it works.”
― Elisabeth Corey

“Anger gets a bad rap. We have heard that anger is not acceptable for most of our lives. We hear that it is undignified and even crazy to be angry. It’s confusing because we often grow up in a household with a very angry person, but we are told we can never be angry. This continues in adulthood as oppressed people are villainized for expressing anger even though powerful people express it all the time. But there’s an ulterior motive for these messages. If we get angry, they lose their control. In reality, they are terrified of our anger. Why? Our anger is our self-love. It is telling us that something is wrong with how we are being treated. Let it say what it needs to say. Rage on the page. The more we can express our anger, the better our boundaries will become.”
― Elisabeth Corey