Ken Sande > Quotes

“What are you really living for? It's crucial to realize that you either glorify God, or you glorify something or someone else. You're always making something look big. If you don't glorify God when you're involved in a conflict, you inevitably show that someone or something else rules your heart.”
― Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict

“When you draw on God's grace to put off your self-centered attitudes and act on His principles, you put His glory on display. Your life points to His vast wisdom, compassion, and transforming power, and as you look for God's glory, the impact reaches far beyond yourself because you give everyone around you reason to respect and praise God. Glorifying God is not about letting others see how great you are. It's about letting them see how great the Lord is.”
― Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict

“Conflict is one of the many tools that God will use to help you develop a more Christ-like character.”
― Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families

“It is easier to accept your limits if you have a biblical view of success. The world defines success in terms of what a person possesses, controls, or accomplishes. God defines success in terms of faithful obedience to his will. The world asks, 'What results have your achieved?' God asks, 'Were you faithful to my ways?”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“Forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:

"I will not think about this incident."
"I will not bring up this incident again or use it against you."
"I will not talk to others about this incident."
"I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship."

By making and keeping these promises, you tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem, nor to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he commands us to do for others.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“Trusting God does not mean believing he will do what you want, but rather believing he will do everything he knows is good.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“If you believe that God is watching over you with perfect love and unlimited power, you will be able to serve him faithfully as a peacemaker, even in the most difficult circumstances.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“Ron Kraybill, a respected Christian mediator, has noted that "effective confrontation is like a graceful dance from supportiveness to assertiveness and back again." This dance may feel awkward at first for those who are just learning it, but perseverance pays off. With God's help you can learn to speak the truth in love by saying only what will build others up, by listening responsibly to what others say, and by using principles of wisdom.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“Understanding God’s Word is an essential ingredient of wisdom, which is the ability to apply God’s truth to life’s complexities. Having wisdom does not mean that you understand all of God’s
ways; it means that you respond to life God’s way (Deut. 29:29). The better you know the Bible, the wiser you will be and the more effectively you will deal with conflict.”
― Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families

“The more you make Jesus the treasure of your heart, the less room there will be in your life for idols.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“The concept of stewardship is especially relevant to peacemaking. Whenever you are involved in a conflict, God has given you a management opportunity. He has entrusted you with natural abilities and spiritual resources, and his Word clearly explains how he wants you to manage the situation. The more faithfully you follow his instructions, the more likely you are you are to see a proper solution and genuine reconciliation. Moreover, faithful stewarding will leave you with a clear conscience before God, regardless of what the other people do.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“Because Christians are the most forgiven people in the world, we should be the most forgiving people in the world as well.”
― Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families

“Worthless talk can also contribute to conflict, even if you intend no harm. It violates God’s high standard for talking to or about others: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29). Worthless talk also shows a disregard for Jesus’ warning, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matt. 12:36). If you memorize these passages and use them consciously as a filter for your words, it can help you to avoid many kinds of careless, critical, worthless words and to speak only those things that will benefit others, build them up, and promote spiritual growth.1”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“There are three dimensions to the peace that God offers to us through Christ: peace with God, peace with one another, and peace within ourselves.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“As pastor and martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “Nothing is so cruel as the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin.”[2] Those”
― Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict

“When displaying the riches of God’s love and pleasing him is more important than holding onto worldly things and pleasing yourself, it becomes increasingly natural to respond to conflict graciously, wisely, and with self-control.”
― ken sande, Peacemaking for Families

“As you worry less about going through conflict and focus more on growing through conflict, you will enhance that process and experience the incomparable blessing of being conformed to the likeness of Christ.”
― Ken Sande, Peacemaking for Families

“repentance is sometimes described as "coming to our senses" (see Luke 15:17)- 2 Tim. 2:25-26). It involves a waking up to the fact that we have been deceiving ourselves and that our ideas, attitudes, values, or goals have been wrong.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker : A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

“Proverbs 19:11”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“Paul’s reference to “burning coals on his head” indicates the irresistible power of deliberate, focused love. Ancient armies often used burning coals to fend off attackers (Ps. 120:4). No soldier could resist this weapon for long; it would eventually overcome even the most determined attacker. Love has the same irresistible power. At the very least, actively loving an enemy will protect you from being spiritually defeated by anger, bitterness, and thirst for revenge. And, in some cases, your active and determined love for your opponent may be used by God to bring that person to repentance.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“There are three dimensions to the peace that God offers to us through Christ: peace with God, peace with one another, and peace within ourselves. Many people care little about their relationships with God and other people, but they still want peace within themselves. As you will see, it is impossible to know genuine internal peace unless you also pursue peace with God and others.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“If you indulge in reckless talk, falsehood, gossip, slander, or worthless talk, you will not only stir up conflict, but also erode your own character and relationship with God. Therefore, for the sake of peace and spiritual growth, renounce all such talk and seek God’s help in overcoming it.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“One of the best ways to avoid straying from the Lord is to surround yourself with wise and spiritually mature people who will encourage you to stay on a biblical course, even when the going is tough.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“When Christians learn to be peacemakers, they can turn conflict into an opportunity to strengthen relationships, preserve valuable resources, and make their lives a testimony to the love and power of Christ.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“To gossip means to betray a confidence or to discuss unfavorable personal facts about another person with someone who is not part of the problem or its solution. Even if the information you discuss is true, gossip is always sinful and a sign of spiritual immaturity (2 Cor. 12:20; cf. Prov. 11:13; 20:19; 1 Tim. 5:13).”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“This gospel gives us the gift of eternal life. But the gospel is more than a ticket to heaven. It isn’t just for unbelievers. It’s for every believer every day of life. But many Christians have a “two doors gospel.” We think of the gospel as a door we enter at conversion. We stand outside of God’s family, then someone shares the Good News with us, and the Holy Spirit opens our hearts to understand. We see our need. We trust in Christ. We come through the door into the kingdom of God. We believe, and the penalty of sin—eternal punishment—is taken away. The gospel is more than a ticket to heaven. But then—too often—we treat the gospel like an airplane ticket we save up to use on a distant day in the future. Having entered through one door, we put the gospel in our pocket until we come to another door. We don’t pull out the gospel until we’re in the hospital, facing only a few days to live. Then we peacefully tell our children, “Don’t worry. I know I’m going to heaven because I trusted in Jesus. I believe the gospel and I have hope for eternal life.” Yes, the gospel provides great comfort when we face death. But there’s a whole life we live between the first door and the second door. If we forget the gospel is for now—for sins we struggle with today, for areas where we still want to grow, for relationships that are broken—then we miss the rich treasure that belongs to us in Christ. There’s a treasure stored up in heaven for us, but God doesn’t want it reserved just for eternity. It spills into our daily lives today if we just reach up our hands and receive it.”
― Ken Sande, Resolving Everyday Conflict

“No matter what race or country we come from, none of us is naturally inclined to obey Jesus’ commands to love our enemies, confess our wrongs, gently correct others, submit to our church, and forgive those who hurt us. In fact, left to our own instincts, we are disposed to do just the opposite.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“Conflict is one of the many tools that God will use to help you develop a more Christ-like character. To begin with, he may use conflict to remind you of your weaknesses and to encourage you to depend more on him (2 Cor. 12:7–10).”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“Here again the concept of stewardship serves as a helpful guiding principle. Rights are not something you deserve and possess for your own benefit. Rather, they are privileges given to you by God, and he wants you to use them for his glory and to benefit others, especially by helping them know Christ. As a steward, it is also appropriate to consider your needs and personal responsibilities”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

“If he is God, he is worthy of my worship, and my service.”
― Ken Sande, The Peacemaker