Bella Mackie > Quotes

“I like to be on my own, and have never understood what weakness exists in people who crave the company of others all the time.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Men who turn their lights full beam on you for a few seconds and leave you chasing that artificial warmth for the rest of your life. It wrecks you and doesn’t leave a mark on them.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Does anyone have a father that doesn’t disappoint in some low-level but ultimately incredibly damaging way?”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Men often do that, spreading out their legs on the Tube as though they have an innate need to fill any space that isn't filled, walking down the middle of the narrow pavement and being almost surprised when they career into you, nudging too close in a coffee shop queue as though you'll give way. They don't even notice what they're doing. They are important, their needs are important. You are not as important. You are not important at all. Unless you're attractive to them. Then your space will be occupied in other ways. Men will stand in front of you and block your path to get your attention. They will slow their car down so that you feel uncomfortable as you walk down the street. They will hover over you in bars, touching your arm, grabbing your hand. If you're lucky, it'll just be your hand.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Men often laugh with surprise when they find women funny, as though it’s a skill we’re not expected to possess.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Life is so short and we spend so much of it talking to terrible people about the minutiae of their nothing lives. I cannot do it with any enthusiasm.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“I’ve wondered if God is telling me to get off this road and embrace a different life. But then I remember that I don’t believe in God”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“life is 75 per cent cancelling plans and both parties feeling relieved”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“It’s a cliché that money doesn’t buy happiness – tell that to someone struggling on the minimum wage”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Kids are self-absorbed and parents are supposed to be invincible. That’s the deal.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“How little men promise. How much we grasp at it.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“People so often just want you to hold up a mirror for their own opinions.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“they look happy despite their ignorance. Perhaps because of it. What is there to worry about? None of these idiots are thinking about climate change, they’re wondering what to wear on the yacht tomorrow.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“We dress for other women. It’s a banal cliché but it’s true.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“How awful it must be to know in your bones that those around you were being picked off one by one and to realise that you must therefore be next. Even worse, it seemed like nobody was listening to him – a terrible thing for a powerful white man to experience.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“what cannot be cured, must be endured”
― Bella Mackie, Jog On: How Running Saved My Life

“Men like women being vulnerable. They like to feel we might need help, despite any surface-level confidence.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Mothers are adept at providing love from all angles, so much so that you often don’t realise you’re missing out on love from other people until much later in life.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“I felt something switch off in my brain at that moment, as if I was suddenly on standby, not able to function at full capacity. I later learned that this is called disassociation. When your brain disconnects to protect you from stress or trauma.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“This was a promise I really had no intention of keeping – modern life is 75 per cent cancelling plans and both parties feeling relieved”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Running is not magic beans and I now know that I can’t expect it to inure me to the genuine sadness of life. But throughout tough periods in my life, and without realising it, I had finally acquired a coping skill, one that has helped me every day since I found myself on that floor, wondering how I’d ever get up. It’s something that has taken me out of my self-made cage, propelled me towards new jobs, new experiences, real love and a sense of optimism and confidence that I can be more than just a woman with crippling anxiety. It has given me a new identity, one which no longer sees danger and fear first. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I ran myself out of misery. It has transformed my life.”
― Bella Mackie, Jog On: How Running Saved My Life

“Does anyone have a father that doesn't disappoint in some low level but ultimately incredibly damaging way?”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“His willingness to punish a girl for not immediately embracing a photo of his penis was chilling, and I say that as someone who has killed six people.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“It’s easy to behave like nothing is wrong, even when you have a mental illness and feel like you’re going to be consumed by it. Even at my most miserable, I was good at holding down my job, cracking jokes, going out just enough so I wasn’t seen as a hermit. Many people become experts at this, even tricking themselves. I could probably have gone on like this forever, living half a life, pretending that I was OK with it. But something had broken, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I’d done it for so long, and it had become exhausting.”
― Bella Mackie, Jog On: How Running Saved My Life

“Intrusive thoughts which feel like your own, but they aren’t, not really. They’ve muscled their way into your brain and dressed up as your thoughts.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“While the internet is a place to get closer to your heroes, it’s also a place to obsessively hate-watch people you would try your best to avoid in real life. I always told myself that it was valuable research, but engaging with it for so long leaves you feeling demoralised and dirty. It’s like repeatedly picking at a scab and wondering why you end up with an ugly scar.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“It’s hard to run and feel sorry for yourself at the same time.”
― Bella Mackie, Jog On: How Running Saved My Life

“Never yearn for the light that some men will shine on you for the briefest of moments. Snuff it out instead.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“I’ve never been someone who enjoys parties. The amount of small talk involved depletes my energy and makes my whole body tense up. Not because I’m shy, but because it’s so boring it makes me want to die.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family

“Prep work for killing someone is an odd thing. I wish there was an online group where you could share tips and offer up advice to newbies, telling you which gloves are the most practical and weigh in on whether a shove down the stairs is an effective way to take a life. Mumsnet, but for murders.”
― Bella Mackie, How to Kill Your Family