Nina Varela > Quotes

“If longing is madness, then none of us are sane.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“If the universe were static, I could stand anywhere in this world and I swear my line of sight would end on you. I swear I'd find you in the dark.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“Humanity is how you act, my lady,” said Jezen. “Not how you were Made.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Crier wanted to study her like a map. Draw an easy path between all the specific yet scattered points of her.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Because you deserve to be known, in whatever capacity you wish. I am trying to become a person who deserves to know you. I want that more than anything.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“She had never really seen a pair of eyes like this. It was like standing in the doorway to a dark room, like balancing on a threshold, holding a lantern up and watching how it kissed some things gold and left other things in shadow. It was the kind of dark that hid and held a lot of things. A hot fluid dark, a summer tide pool dark, a wild breathless dark.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Crier wanted to point to her chest, this is the hurting part, this is the bleeding part, fix it or take it out.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Justice was a god, and Ayla didn't believe in such childish things. She believed in blood.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Strength isn’t measured by the ability to cause harm.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“She didn't usually feel the aloneness quite this much, but it was harder, this time of year, to ignore the graveyard in her chest.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“You keep comparing yourself to a book. That is not how I see you. If I want to learn about you, it’s not for...pleasure, or leisure, or the desired mastery of a subject. I am not trying to learn you like a language. I am trying, Ayla, to learn you like a person. Like people do, with the knowledge that I will never know everything. That it is impossible to know everything. Because you deserve to be known, in whatever capacity you wish. I am trying to become a person who deserves to know you.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“I told you once I’m not a book to be read,” Ayla continued. “I take it back. I’m a book. Read me.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“There was something terrible in her, something clawed and angry and afraid and sad… The truth of Ayla, the pain of her, was like a song you could feel vibrating on the air, even if you didn’t know the words. It was a hum, low and throaty and full of sorrow.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“A drop of water gleamed on Ayla's lower lip. Strangely, it made Crier want to—drink.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“Ayla wanted to see her break things, wanted to see her broken, wanted to watch her break apart, wanted to be the cause of it.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“A tiny pathetic thought: the warmth of Ayla's touch rivaled the afternoon sun.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“Wars were won by whichever side caused the most suffering. How was that something to be proud of?”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“I was talking about how you never, ever stop fighting, no matter how much it hurts.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“I have a heart like you, Ayla." Crier repeated, pressing Ayla's hand harder against her chest. Ayla heard her own heartbeat and felt Crier's—a song tapping against her palm, a racing pulse beneath her fingers. Ayla was breathing too hard. She was breathing too hard. "I feel things too," Crier whispered.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“She carried the same intensity about her, like heat waves rising from her skin, even though she was just standing in the doorway and not currently in the middle of saving Crier's life. Like she was more than a human girl. Like she was a summer storm made flesh.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“A law for a paradox. I’ll trade you.
We believe the Universe birthed an infinite number of stars. By this logic, you could stand anywhere in this world and look up at the night sky and your line of sight would inevitably end on a star. By this logic, the night sky shouldn’t be dark at all; it should be a blinding wash of starlight. Therein lies the paradox. The problem is the assumption that the Universe is static, unmoving; that every star has always occupied the same space in our sky. The paradox doesn’t account for the fact that the Universe, like all things, was born and has been growing ever since. Expanding outward—pushing, pulling, as you told me. Celestial bodies floating in a black sea, carried by a current older than life. Drifting farther and farther apart. The nature of the Universe is that everything inside it becomes lonelier and lonelier and lonelier. Some nights I can think of nothing else, and nothing more terrifying. Some nights I lie awake, thinking of this, and it makes me unspeakably sad.
Not as often, these days.
Because it’s you.
It’s you, the wash of starlight, the old paradox: if the Universe were static, I could stand anywhere in this world and I swear my line of sight would end on you. I swear I’d find you in the dark.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“If we look only at the past, we lose sight of the future. And what a future it could be.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“Perhaps the butterfly was actually a wasp.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“The truth of Ayla, the pain of her, was like a song you could feel vibrating on the air, even if you didn't know the words.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“I want queer authors to write anything and everything they need to write. I have no interest in gatekeeping; I want the full spectrum. I want the coming out books. I want the books about queer suffering. I want on-page catharsis and exploration of trauma. I want the happy books, too: queer joy books, cute romantic comedies, first crush books, fantasies about queer royals and revolutionaries and spaceship captains. (...) We need all types of queer stories because all types of queer people exist. I want the market to be so saturated with queer books that anyone who needs to see themselves in a story—anyone who hasn’t yet seen themselves, hasn’t yet gotten to be the hero—can walk into any bookstore and find a book (or six) about someone who experiences the world like they do. I want every queer author to get the chance to tell their story. To tell people, We exist everywhere. We suffer, we survive, we love. We can be magic, too.”
― Nina Varela

“Ayla, she had written once. I could stand anywhere in this world and I swear my line of sight would end on you. I swear I’d find you in the dark.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“I like knowing there’s certain laws in the universe, Ayla’s father had said once, a very long time ago, before everything. You can’t count on much. Can’t trust most things to stay solid. But there is always some sort of force at work. Even way out there past the sky, so far away that we can’t even imagine it, things work the same. Your mother would explain it better. Everything is just bodies in motion, bodies in orbit, just like here. Pushing and pulling. You know what that’s called? The law of falling.”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“Ayla was as silent as the storm was loud in Crier's head. Her heart raced.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War

“There was no room inside her for emotions like this. For yearning like this. For loneliness like this. But she was so human-shaped. She was so human-shaped. How could she live in this vessel and not feel any attachment to the world, to its people?”
― Nina Varela, Iron Heart

“She was called the Barren Queen, but I never met anyone less empty. For if one is wanting of a child, then by nature their heart is overfilled with love -- overflowing, yearning for a new vessel to hold that love, like spilling water.
There are some who call her a monster. Some who call her mad.
If longing is madness, then none of us are sane.”
― Nina Varela, Crier's War