Rae McDaniel > Quotes

“When parents are able to engage with their transgender/non-binary children with acceptance, curiosity, and openness, a child becoming more of who they are is an invitation to get to know them on a deeper level.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“When you do need or want to assert your gender identity, the most important question to ask yourself is, “How do I design this experience to keep me safe, stay in my thinking brain, communicate my identity and boundaries well, and meet my goals for this interaction?”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“My point is, you can experience disappointment at an outcome while still trusting you made the best decision possible given the information you had.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“The good news is that self-love and self-compassion toward your body don’t have to be about how your body looks. They’re about respect for yourself as a physical being in the world.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“As Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who recognized and named “flow,” notes, “The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times… The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”4”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Strategic gender expression means picking and choosing where you decide to show up as your full self.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Remember that gender freedom doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s connected to collective freedom. When we are free, the possibilities are endless.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Regret is a feeling like any other feeling. Yet we put regret on a pedestal as an emotion that must be avoided at all costs instead of treating it like any other unpleasant emotion we experience and move through.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“There are two things you can do to work with your brakes. The first and most important is simply to notice what your brakes are without judgment. This gives you an opportunity to show compassion to yourself rather than frustration and to ask yourself what you need. Second, use your brakes to move through curves at a safe pace.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Our behaviors impact our hormones just as much, if not more, than our hormones impact our behaviors”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“It’s not sustainable to have the person you’re evolving a relationship with be your sole source of support, and I highly recommend having the professional support of a therapist and friends.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“The lesson here is twofold: You don’t have to do this alone. And falling down is part of the process and expected as you learn. Just focus on getting back up.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Pride is a reflection of how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself, and the daily actions you take affirming your identity and your boundaries.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Pride is actively working to create the world we want to live in.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Even though I don’t feel safe, I am safe.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“What would it be to imagine sexuality as a terrain of play and wonder rather than a dysphoria-packed minefield?”4”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Esther Perel defines eroticism as “pleasure for its own sake” and the “qualities of vitality, curiosity, and spontaneity that make us feel alive.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“In order to grow, you have to prioritize it, surround yourself with people who also want to grow, and take intentional steps toward the person you want to be.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Pleasure and eroticism also connect us to others, whether that is through shared sexuality or shared platonic experiences. Some of the most intimate and pleasurable moments I’ve had with others have been watching a beautiful performance-art piece or staying up too late laughing and talking about ideas that make our hearts sing.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Shoving down emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just builds up pressure until it feels like we’re going to explode.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Eroticism and pleasure bring connection and intimacy within ourselves, and particularly within our bodies.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“And remember, transition is not an elevator. Yes, some medical changes are permanent, but you always have agency over how you identify your gender and how you choose to express it to the world.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“All of these intersections in my life made it difficult for me to discover what it meant to be connected to my body and to experience pleasure in it.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“In practice, it means designing a grounding and validating experience before and after a challenging one—hence, the term “bookending.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“In other words, the question isn’t “How can I love every inch of my body?” The real questions are “How can I accept my body as it is at this moment, while also wanting to change it? How can I show my body care and respect right now?”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Moving from judgment to curiosity within ourselves is a simple concept but takes practice to apply.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“The conversation would look very different if we truly believed gender freedom is the goal for everyone; changing your name, pronouns, body, and/or appearance to feel more authentic was just another part of self-growth celebrated in our culture; we applied “my body, my choice” and a belief in bodily autonomy to gender and not just reproductive health. Wait…”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“The turning point for me was simple: I decided it was worth fighting for a life where I get to be myself, to feel joy and pleasure, and to be connected to people who love me. I deserve that. And so do you.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Regret is often about an unwanted outcome more than the decision itself.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self

“Jeanette Winterson, Brook’s favorite author: “It is a big surprise falling in love… away you go, falling into someone else’s orbit and after a while, you might decide to pull your two planets together and call it home.”
― Rae McDaniel, Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self