Phyllis L. Fagell > Quotes

“Tweens are exquisitely sensitive to how they’re perceived, and they’re sponges, so adults wield enormous power to shape their values, boost their self-awareness, and help them learn to experiment, fail, and recover. Kids at this age also are curious, empathetic, perceptive, wise beyond their years, and brutally honest (which can come across as funny or mean, depending on the delivery). Middle school is a time when kids’ confidence can peak or plummet. By high school, they’re spending more time with peers and are less malleable. Which is why I view middle school as the “last best chance” to impart self-confidence and problem-solving skills—two primary building blocks of resilience. And resilience is a quality that’s sorely needed today.”
― Phyllis L. Fagell, Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times

“Peg Dawson, a psychologist and author of Smart but Scattered, told me she often has to reassure parents that it’s way too early to worry about their child’s work ethic. “Task initiation is the hardest skill to master, and future orientation doesn’t kick in until tenth or eleventh grade,” she explained. “For parents, it seems simple, but a thirteen-year-old brain is thinking, ‘I don’t have to do it now, so why should I?’” Children deal in the now.”
― Phyllis L. Fagell, Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond--and How Parents Can Help

“Encourage them to shift away from, “Why me?” to the more solution-oriented, “What if I?” and, “How can I?” questions. When”
― Phyllis L. Fagell, Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond--and How Parents Can Help

“Gordon decided to try something similar with a group of twelve students who frequently got into trouble. He created a technology squad, giving them responsibility for the school’s expensive computerized lighting and sound systems. He bought them black outfits emblazoned with the words “Tech Squad” and their names spelled out in glow-in-the-dark letters. The kids had no preexisting technology skills, but they learned how to use the boards and move giant mechanical curtains. “At my last graduation at the middle school, the tech teacher called in sick,” Gordon recalled. “I called the Tech Squad, and this tiny, eleven-year-old sixth grader said, ‘Don’t worry about a thing, Mr. Gordon, we’ve got your back.’” His mother later came to the school in tears and shared that after years of hating school, he now ate, slept, and dreamed about it. None of the kids were referred to the main office after they joined the squad. Gordon told me, “Their chests got bigger and they became heroes among the kids instead of the class clowns.” Find that one thing that gives your child a sense of purpose, whether it’s singing, running, volunteering, peer mentoring, or creative writing. Kids who feel competent are more resistant to peer pressure.”
― Phyllis L Fagell, Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond--and How Parents Can Help