Thandiwe Mpofu > Quotes

“You.” Hard thrust. “Go.” Another thrust directly to my spot, my pussy walls clenching and holding his fingers but he doesn’t let me. “When. I. Say. So.” He fucks me with his fingers so hard and I come just as hard, so loud with a scream that pierces my ears. I literally hear a buzz and see color behind my eyes. Maybe it’s the bitter taste of the truth on my tongue, or the answering silent, yet volcanic anger from Ace. Maybe it’s the grief that slices the room into uneven dimensions of breathless agony—but for whatever reason, my orgasm is hard and intense. It’s the type of climax that I knew Ace could easily give me, but we both knew it was heightened by misery and grief. A kind of grief that we both refused to face. Grief heightened by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. . . My entire body shakes, Ace flips me over to my side and somehow in the darkness of my room, our gazes connect and I can see the blues like I do in my nightmares and my dreams. I see them as much as they see me. I know these eyes belong to the devil, the spawn of my hate. But they still see me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be seen and he has, since the very first day we met. “You will fucking die when I say so.” He growls, like a solemn vow. “You will fade away like the kind of nothing that you think you are, when I say so. But for now, you fucking stay here and you fight that shit for me. I fucking need you to fight it.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“I’m a king yes but she? She was a star not of this world. She had the whole earth and everyone in it beneath her, shining bright and high. So fucking untouchable. And so fucking coveted and wanted by so many. I’m a king but I knew she would make me bow before her throne. I don’t think I’m comfortable with that.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Vicious Hate

“I NEED A JOINT.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“Because you are still breathing doesn't mean you are alive.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“We plan to get shitfaced tonight so bye Noah.” Kim announces then follows after me, shuts the door and locks it after us. “Everything alright?” I question her as we go up the narrow stairway, lit by a low soft glowing light. It’s not creepy but it is strange. “Raea, what part of tonight has been alright?” She questions. “Uh.” I pretend to think about it, all the while doing my best to ignore the twisting in my chest and Denise’s evil laugh that still rings in my ears. “The part where we scored those free hotdogs during the game?” I question, throwing my head back as I take another swig of the Jack. “Those were pretty good hotdogs for a football game. But then again, nothing but the best for Westbrook Blues.” Nothing but the best indeed. The best estates. The best secrets. The best lies. The best betrayal. Westbrook wins them all.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Vicious Hate

“She whistles as soon as she sees me. “What?” I question, grabbing her hand so we quickly start crossing the front lawn, walking over to the side of the house where there is a little path that goes straight to my side of the house. No way am I risking seeing anyone in that house by using the front door, especially my fucking whore of a mother. What has this life become? Urgh, I just want to scream. “Nothing, it’s just that you have that wild, ‘I just got fucked but I still want to wreck havoc’ look going on.” She says, her gaze on me. “I like it, it’s better than the ‘I just puked my guts out on the Westbrook Blues High football field’ look.” “Oh, you mean that state-of-the-art, multi-million dollar football field? It’s no biggie.” Kim bursts out laughing but I’m feeling restless. I feel so damn agitated, angry and a bit shaken by everything that has happened tonight. And to think, I thought Ace only ever wanted my attention back then. . .yet now as I think about it, each time I ever mentioned spending time with an almost absent father, Ace would do something to prevent that from happening.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Vicious Hate

“But in Westbrook, I have no idea what might come at us, but I know something is already in the works for both of us. I just need her to stand with me. “Why does it feel like this is just the beginning of a war?” She sniffles in my sweatshirt but I don’t fucking care. “That’s because we are in the middle of it and the enemy just showed up.” “She doesn’t want us together.” “They want us to dance to their tune for the sake of the great land.” “What do we do, Ace?” She questions, looking up at me. I lift my hand and wipe the remaining tears that fall on her cheek and my fingers. Her tears burn into my skin and I just want them fucking gone. I wish I had better words to tell her. I wish I had the courage to tell her that everything is going to be alright but I’m not going to lie to her. Everything is going to go to shit, but I refuse for that to include us. “We do what we do best.” “And what’s that?” I lean down and kiss her forehead, lingering there as I take a whiff of her. She smells like a heaven and temptation at the same time, I might just die in her scent. “We fuck shit up.” I groan, as I look down at her, feeling the tenseness of my entire body. She smiles then, a sad, tired smile. Tonight has been too much but I don’t think it’s over. Not for us anyway. “Promise me something.” She starts, looking up at me, with the wind blowing her hair into her face. I move the silky strands away, staring into her eyes—hard eyes filled with so much confusion right now. “Anything.” The entire world if you want it. The moon and the stars are yours, you rule them all. Me, baby. I promise you me. . . “Promise me that you will never lie to me. Or keep anything from me.” I had a feeling this was coming. At this point, I’m not sure if lying will keep her safe or if it will make things worse. Something tells me that the latter is much more probable now with the stench of war in the air. Will she lie to me too? “So long as you promise to do that too . . .” She nods her head, then reaches for my hand that cups her cheek. She loops our pinkies, mirroring something we used to do whenever the boys were around. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her with the boys watching but sometimes, I could sense she was sad or she could sense that something was happening with me. So, she would come stand close to me, but we wouldn’t look at each other as our pinky fingers interlocked under the table, or at our backs where no one could see. God, I’m a sucker for this girl. Been a fool for her my whole life. “I promise.” We whisper at the same time.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Vicious Hate

“They say time heals all wounds, that’s a fucking lie. Time worsens wounds. Time rots wounds, time corrupts, time disintegrates. Time kills, time never forgives and time never forgets.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“because you are still breathing doesn’t mean you are alive.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“I spent four years doing anything possible to end the misery in my head, in my heart, body but mostly, in my damn bleak soul that gapes at me each time I look in the mirror—taunting me, reminding me that there is no way out. Depression is really the devil and each time I look at myself—I see that. I’m reminded of that.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Reckless Hate

“Devastation tastes a lot like ash in your mouth.”
― Thandiwe Mpofu, Vicious Hate