Leland Gregory > Quotes

“If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business -- Or two words Big Business." -- ("President"(!)) Donald Trump”
― Leland Gregory, Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity

“Myth The United States of America is made up of fifty states. Truth Technically, no. There are only forty-six states in the United States—Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and Virginia are commonwealths.”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages

“LIVE FROM THE PASTA FARMS, THIS HAS BEEN AL DENTE: The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) aired a documentary on its new show Panorama about Spaghetti growers in Switzerland-- on April 1, 1957. The joke broadcast showed Swiss spaghetti farmers picking fresh spaghetti from 'spaghetti trees' and preparing the spaghetti for market. It also mentioned that the pasta farmers had a bumper crop partly because of the 'virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil.' Soon after the broadcast, the BBC received phone calls from viewers eager to know if spaghetti really grew on trees and how they might grow a spaghetti tree of their own. To the last question, the BBC reportedly replied that they should 'place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages

“I guess if you leave the milk of human kindness out in the sun too long, the sour cream of the crop will rise to the top.”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid on the Road: Idiots on Planes, Trains, Buses, and Cars (Stupid History Book 7)

“Make sure that your election campaign is one long parade, magnificent and splendid, appealing to popular taste, presenting a grand and dignified spectacle. If at all possible, you should also arrange for some scandal to be stirred up against your competitors, involving either criminal behavior of sex or bribery, depending on their character.”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History Book 14)

“1824: “Let everyone in love come and see. I want to break Venus’s ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’s loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?”
― Leland Gregory, Stupid Ancient History (Stupid History Book 14)