Jerry Boyd > Quotes

“I see Bob’s been giving you lessons in asshole-do.” He turned to me and bowed. “Thank you so much for your instruction, Sensei.” “You are welcome, Pad-a-half.” “I’m not up to Pad-a-one yet, Master Yoda?” “Not quite.”
― Jerry Boyd, Shady Oaks

“I picked up Mrs. Parks, and trailed along. My whole life I’d heard about picking up women, and how much fun it was. I must have been doing it wrong, I didn’t get a lot out of it..”
― Jerry Boyd, Shady Oaks

“The solid waste is approaching the ventilation impeller at high velocity?” “That’s what I think, but I don’t know what to prepare for.”
― Jerry Boyd, Bob's Saucer Repair

“You mean I don’t have a reputation as a ruthless Captain?” Ruth poked her head out of the kitchen. “No, Boss, I’m still here. Did you think I left?”
― Jerry Boyd, Shaved Ape Key

“media really don’t care about people’s welfare, or even particularly the truth. They’re just trying for ratings.”
― Jerry Boyd, Lost in Transit

“Morning is such a wonderful thing. Shame they put it at such an inconvenient time.”
― Jerry Boyd, Bob's Saucer Repair

“Never do a vast thing in a half-vast way.”
― Jerry Boyd, Bob's Saucer Repair

“Murphy is my shepherd. He leads me into crap, so that I might be stronger for the future.”
― Jerry Boyd, Secret Squirrels

“Where you’re concerned, my name is San Andreas.”
― Jerry Boyd, Admiral Bob

“We always try to be safe and boring. We’re just not very good at it.”
― Jerry Boyd, Lost in Transit

“All right, but no tactical training till they’re fifteen.” Dingus said, “Oh, c’mon, there’s lots of things they can learn when they are five. No need to handicap them by starting them late.”
― Jerry Boyd, Shaved Ape Key

“A person, singular, can be reasonable. People, as a group, generally can’t.”
― Jerry Boyd, Lost in Transit

“If you don’t let other people feel useful once in a while, they get the idea you don’t want them around.”
― Jerry Boyd, Admiral Bob

“So, I’m an apprentice baker, then?” “Huh?” “I don’t have the knead to know?”
― Jerry Boyd, Fort Scratchy

“These people don’t sit and worry about what they can’t do, they figure out the things they can do.”
― Jerry Boyd, Bob's Saucer Repair

“I really should have taken notes, my vocabulary of Galactic cuss words wasn’t what it should have been. One particularly grievous offender was informed that he was the offspring of a vacuum cleaner and a garage door opener, while they were both under the influence of a power surge.”
― Jerry Boyd, Captain Caveman

“The lock realized that it much preferred the state of being in smithereens,”
― Jerry Boyd, Shaved Ape Key

“You’re not from outer space, you’re from a planet. Just not this one.”
― Jerry Boyd, Saucer Holler

“No problem. Just don’t spread it around, please.” “My lips are walrused.” “Don’t you mean sealed?” “Walruses are bigger, and stronger, aren’t they?”
― Jerry Boyd, Admiral Bob

“imagination. Any resemblance to anything in the real”
― Jerry Boyd, Hoopee Do

“Isn’t it a common tactic to use a war to smooth over trouble at home?” “It is, at that.”
― Jerry Boyd, A Reptile Dysfunction

“She popped her lapels, and said, “I’m coming up in the world, Mr. Wilson. I have my reputation to protect. I can’t be seen hanging around with the likes of you.” I looked at Nikki. “Do you think I would have gotten a better reception, if I had worn my work clothes?” Nikki said, “I don’t think you could get better reception, even if you wrapped your ears in foil.”
― Jerry Boyd, Dog Days

“As a matter of fact, I do have an anomaly to report. We’ve gone nearly 48 hours without any anomalies. I think that’s a record for your command, Boss.”
― Jerry Boyd, Secret Squirrels

“All those old-timers were taught all kinds of rules to handle all kinds of situations. But no situation in the real world is ever going to match what the rules were made up to handle. He gets to adapt, without a bunch of rules in the way, that wouldn’t solve the problem anyway.” I looked at her. “You’re trying to say that walking around lost and confused is an unfair advantage?” “Gee, Dad, I thought I got it done. No trying involved.”
― Jerry Boyd, Admiral Bob

“Well, welcome to adulthood. We all have a monster inside us. The best we can do is wake up in the morning, and decide not to be a monster that day. If we’re really lucky, we can stick to it all day. If we’re not, we have to live with the memories.”
― Jerry Boyd, Unfriendly Relations

“Boss. It’s ‘The McAndrew Chronicles’, by Charles Sheffield. It’s an anthology, and the last story in the book is about”
― Jerry Boyd, Thus Shook Zarathrustra

“Never go to the butcher shop without looking at the wurst case, Topper.” “A good sausage never goes to waste, you say?” “As long as you don’t have to see it being made.”
― Jerry Boyd, The Butler Did It

“Damn ain’t supposed to be a three-syllable word, is it?”
― Jerry Boyd, Bob's Saucer Repair

“Maybe I just want to believe.” “Whatever you say, Fox.” “Does that make you Dana?” “I don’t think I have the looks for that, Boss. Maybe Skinner.”
― Jerry Boyd, Gone Fishing

“Well, we’ve had to make two runs to the post office so far, to send out QSL cards, but other than that, everything is going fine.”
― Jerry Boyd, Mr. Wilson's Neighborhood