Spider Robinson > Quotes

“Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me...only he's an imbecile.”
― Spider Robinson, Off the Wall at Callahan's

“Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. ”
― Spider Robinson

“Shared pain is lessened.
Shared joy is increased.
Thus we refute entropy.”
― Spider Robinson

“ …when writing, always hook the reader with your first sentence…in love, never settle…value yourself first and this will help you to value others…life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest…everyone in the world is different, and that’s ok…”
― Spider Robinson

“Some guys step on a rake in the dark, and get mad and go punch somebody. Others step on a rake in the dark and fall down laughing at themselves. I know which kind of guy I'd rather be. So do my friends.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.”
― Spider Robinson

“Just as there are laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or destroyed. But one can be converted into the other.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“there's nothing in the human heart or mind, no place no matter how twisted or secret, that can't be endured - if you have someone to share it with.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“This is what it is to be human: to see the essential existential futility of all action, all striving -- and to act, to strive. This is what it is to be human: to reach forever beyond your grasp. This is what it is to be human: to live forever or die trying. This is what it is to be human: to perpetually ask the unanswerable questions, in the hope that the asking of them will somehow hasten the day when they will be answered. This is what it is to be human: to strive in the face of the certainty of failure. This is what it is to be human: to persist.”
― Spider Robinson

“Well, some men learn by listening, some read, some observe and analyze — and some of us just have to pee on the electric fence.”
― Spider Robinson, Variable Star

“...one of the secret masters of
the world: a librarian. They
control information. Don't ever p**s one off.”
― Spider Robinson, The Callahan Touch

“Shared sorrow is lessened, shared joy is increased”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“honesty is hard work.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Lady

“Sexual intercourse vests no property rights.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Secret

“And there's this place called college! I mean, they want you to care, dig it, care about this education trip, and they don't care enough themselves to make it as attractive as the crap game across the street!”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“...I know good design when I fail to trip over it.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Secret

“We did make use, from time to time, of candles, neckties, scarves, shoelaces, a little water-color paintbrush, her hairbrush, butter, whipped cream, strawberry jam, Johnson’s Baby Oil, my Swedish hand vibrator, a fascinating bead necklace she had, miscellaneous common household items, and every molecule of flesh that was exposed to air or could be located with strenuous search.”
― Spider Robinson, User Friendly

“Mankind is divided into two basic sorts: those who find the unknown future threatening ... and those who find it thrilling. The rupture between those two sides has been responsible for most of the bloodshed in history.”
― Spider Robinson, Variable Star

“In 1971, after seven years in college, with that magic piece of paper clutched triumphantly in my fist, the best job I was able to get was night watchman on a sewer project in Babylon, N.Y. guarding a hole in the ground to prevent anyone from stealing it. God bless the American educational system!”
― Spider Robinson, The Callahan Chronicals

“Progress is something with no pity, and no purpose. It just happens. It chews up all you ever knew, and spits out things you can't understand, and the only value it seems to have is to make a few people a lot of money.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“The problems of today's youth were no longer a Sunday supplement, or a news broadcast, or anything so remote and intangible. They were suddenly become a dirty, shivering boy, who told us that in this world we had built for him with our sweat and our blood, he was not only tired of living, but so unscared of dying that he did it daily, sometimes for recreation.”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon

“Shared pain is lessened
Shared joy is increased
Thus do we refute entropy”
― Spider Robinson

“This is what it is to be human: To see the essential existential futility of all action, all striving - and to act, to strive. This is what it is to be human: to reach forever beyond your grasp. This is what it is to be human: to live forever or die trying. This is what it is to be human: to perpetually ask the unanswerable questions, in the hope that the asking of them will somehow hasten the day when they will be answered. This is what it is to be human: to strive in the face of the certainty of failure. This is what it is to be human: to persist.”
― Spider Robinson

“I had not until then fully realized that I was odd, that there was anything strange about growing up with a single-parent genius. I thought all homes had equations scrawled with disc-marker across all the cabinets and walls, and clean laundry in the freezer, and defrosting chicken in the tool drawer. I thought everyone read a book a day and listened to hours of ancient music.”
― Spider Robinson, Variable Star

“anger is always fear in disguise”
― Spider Robinson, Variable Star

“Me, I have a science fiction writer's conviction that the damn robot is supposed to speak
human, not the other way around.”
― Spider Robinson

“Dreams should be forgotten when we wake. Or one day we will find ourselves unable to sleep.”
― Spider Robinson, Melancholy Elephants

“If you've lived a bad life, they send you to Hell. But if you've been truly wicked, they give you a tour of
Heaven first...”
― Spider Robinson, Callahan's Lady

“Your diet must be about fifty-fifty, carrots and locoweed," Annie said softly.
He froze.
"I can't figure out what in the name of God's labia majora you think you're doing...but I'm impressed by how well you're doing it in the dark. You must have eyes like a cat.”
― Spider Robinson, The Free Lunch

“The delusion that one's sexual pattern is The Only Right Way To Be is probably the single most common sexual-psychosis syndrome of this era, and it is virtually almost always the victim's fault. You cannot acquire this delusion by observing reality.”
― Spider Robinson, Lady Slings the Booze