Allie Beth Stuckey > Quotes

“If the self is the source of our depression or despair or insecurity or fear, it can’t also be the source of our ultimate fulfillment.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“When we follow Christ, we are never at risk of "losing ourselves," because our identity is eternally found in him.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Our truth is usually Satan's lie.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“But if we were really enough as is, we wouldn’t have to try so hard to convince ourselves it’s true.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Social justice is concerned not with equality of opportunity but equality of outcomes. In order to achieve this, it must hold back those who are ahead and push forward those who are behind. Equality of outcome is NEVER possible without government force." -p. 86”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“God’s definition of what is good and loving will almost always contradict the world’s definition, which will inevitably put us at odds with mainstream culture. While this is uncomfortable, the sacrifice is worth it. The truth can change lives.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“The culture of self-love tells us life’s too short to stay in a marriage that doesn’t make us happy. As a post on the self-love account @femalecollective argues: “Reminder: relationships are supposed to make you feel good.” That logic makes sense only if the self is the highest priority. But if everyone really thought that way, we’d all end up alone.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“That’s why I think how we talk about motherhood, how we think about motherhood, and how we act as mothers matters. Motherhood is hard, but it is good. It’s a gift that we have the privilege of stewarding. As much as we can, our attitudes should reflect that, especially when we’re talking about being a mom to other people. Avoid toxic online mom culture that calls kids and toddlers brats and burdens. It may be sarcasm, but it has an effect on how people see parenting and family. Let Christian moms be the first ones to say: “No, as hard as this is, my baby is a blessing, not a burden.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“While self-love depletes, God's love for us doesn't. He showed us His love by sending Jesus to die for our sins so that we could be forgiven and live forever with Him. Self-love is superficial and temporary. God's love is profound and eternal.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Yes, Scripture does clearly and unequivocally condemn homosexuality as sin, despite baseless claims to the contrary. Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:9, 1 Timothy 1:10, and Romans 1:26–27 all prohibit homosexual relations and condemn them as inherently disordered. But even if these negative verses didn’t exist, the Bible’s positive definition of holy marriage and sexuality would be sufficient in telling us what Christians should believe and how we must live.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“God instructs us to view them: as a heritage for which we should be grateful rather than obligations we dread (Psalm 127:3). That doesn’t mean we can’t say when it’s hard and ask for help—we should, absolutely. But our prevailing message to the world about motherhood should be one of gratitude, not grumbling. In a culture of self-love that’s convincing women that they need to love themselves before they can love other people, our cheerfulness as moms tells a different story: that there is joy in pouring yourself out, even when you don’t feel filled up. That sacrifice is worth it. That even though we’re not enough, that’s okay because God is.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Maybe we’re unfulfilled, lonely, and purposeless because we love ourselves way too much. Yes, many of us struggle with insecurities and even self-loathing. But these are just other indicators of self-obsession. Even when we don’t like ourselves, our perpetual prioritization of our wants, needs, problems, and dreams above all else proves that we still love ourselves a whole lot.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“This is an argument I made in a podcast episode titled "Three Myths Christian Women Believe". The first myth was that you are enough. My counter was this: you're not enough, you'll never be enough, and that's okay, because God is.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“But it’s a toxic empathy that pushes us not only to have compassion for someone’s difficulties but to unquestioningly affirm their feelings, because, if we were in their shoes, we’d want our feelings to be affirmed. But what about when affirmation causes damage to the very people we say we’re loving? The truth is, this toxic empathy is a dangerous guide for our decisions, behavior, and public policy. What someone wants or feels can’t tell us what’s morally right or beneficial, either for the person as an individual or for society as a whole. Feelings are often misaligned with reality and can actually blind us from—rather than lead us to—wisdom.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“The yoke of the god of self is difficult and its burden heavy, but God's yoke is easy and his burden light. What a relief to know we don't have to expend our precious energy serving ourselves. We make terrible, unworthy gods.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“We’ve spent our lives prioritizing ourselves, our wants, and our happiness, and, guess what. We’re still not happy. So how in the world could it be that self-love is the answer to our problems when there’s no evidence whatsoever that we’ve ever stopped loving ourselves?”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Again: real love—the kind described by the God who created and is love (1 John 4:8)—always includes truth. The two are inextricably intertwined, since true love celebrates truth (1 Cor. 13:6). Christians are called to this kind of love regardless of whether we feel empathy or not. Christians love because Christ first loved us, not because we feel a certain way or have had a particular experience (1 John 4:19). That’s why empathy is different from love and why it also must be submissive to love. Putting yourself in someone’s shoes may help you feel their pain, but their pain isn’t determinative of what’s true or false, right or wrong. A person for whom you feel empathy may, in their pain, believe or demand things that are untrue, unhelpful, and even harmful. We can empathize with the pain of withdrawal for a drug addict, for example, but it would be cruel to give them the heroin they crave.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“The erroneous conflation of love and empathy has convinced the masses that to be loving, we must feel the same way they do. Toxic empathy says we must not only share their feelings, but affirm their feelings and choices as valid, justified, and good. This confusion has not only made us a morally lost people but it’s also harmed the very people empathy-mongers claim they’re trying to help: the truly marginalized and vulnerable.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“EMOTIONAL LANGUAGE: Manipulative rhetoric lacks substantive, logical arguments and replaces them with demands that you feel a certain way. If you’re really loving, caring, understanding, empathetic, etc., you will buy into a particular position. Often, your rational points will be rebuffed with accusations of callousness instead of thoughtful responses. When they call you hateful, bigoted, racist, or any other epithet, it usually means they don’t know why they believe what they believe, so their insecurity manifests itself in anger.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“That’s why empathy, even in its best form, isn’t a sufficient determinant of right and wrong, nor is it an adequate driver of policy.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“This makes sense in light of what we know about many in our generation, considering how little sacrifice is required by pets in comparison to babies. Not only do they require less supervision, they also demand nothing of us emotionally. We don’t have to let go of our bad habits and hang-ups. We don’t have to mature. We don’t have to learn how to communicate effectively or set a good example for them. If we’re consumed by the culture of self-love and committed to worshipping the god of self, we don’t want to be put off by the demands of a child.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“One group that God repeatedly commands Christians to honor and uplift is the fatherless. Mistreating fatherless children was forbidden in ancient Israel (Ex. 22:22). God describes Himself as their father and defender (Deut. 10:18; Ps. 68:5). God regards advocating for the fatherless as righteous, and He condemns as wicked exploiting them (Jer. 7:6, Ps. 94:6). Children without fathers are always, without exception, categorized by Scripture as oppressed and in need of special protection.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“A good question to ask when listening to preachers is: Is he providing context and pointing us to Christ, or is he extracting verses to fit a predetermined message and pointing us to ourselves?”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“we were enough, we wouldn’t need Jesus to do these things for us, but we do. Without him we’re hopeless, purposeless, and dead in our sin.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“The solutions to our problems and pain aren’t found in self-love, but in God’s love.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“God’s faithfulness is proved not by the elimination of hardships but by carrying us through them. Change is not the absence of struggles; change is the freedom to choose holiness in the midst of our struggles. I realized that the ultimate issue has to be that I yearn after God in total surrender and complete obedience.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“You are living a lie, and the path you’re on won’t give you the happiness you’re seeking. Your sin, which you think is your friend, is actually killing you. That love, purpose, and identity you’re seeking—it won’t be found in sex, alcohol, your job, your boyfriend, yourself, your gender identity, or any of that. These things can only be found in the God who created you.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion

“I never could have guessed that the love we felt the second our baby came into the world would be so all consuming. While our pets are still well cared for, their significance to us doesn’t come within light-years of our love for our daughter. And that’s how it should be. Humans, especially our humans, should be more valuable to us than animals. Not only because people are uniquely made in God’s image, but also because he made us to need human relationships—intimate family relationships—not just companionship with our pets. Christians have an obligation to demonstrate to the world the special value of human beings and specifically of children.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“When our reason behind our rest is to ensure better service to the Lord and to others, we don’t have to worry whether or not taking needed breaks is self-centered. It’s not.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

“Actually, we’re told it’s not murder at all. It’s “planning parenthood.” It’s “reproductive freedom.” It’s “bodily autonomy.” It’s “women’s rights.” It’s not a baby that’s being killed, it’s “pregnancy termination,” the removal of a “clump of cells.” People on the side of abortion use all kinds of euphemisms, half-truths, and straight-up lies to obscure what the procedure is and does. “Baby murder” simply isn’t good PR, so sterilized, misleading, unscientific terminology is adopted to make what’s always the gruesome killing of an innocent human more palatable to the public.”
― Allie Beth Stuckey, Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion