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Start by following Patrick C. Harrison III.
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“0.001752% of relationships end in homicide.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
“If they have tattoos, they screw. This is true of men and women alike. If they smoke, they poke. Also true, studies show.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
“I also throw things when the opportunity arises; like if a cat walks into my yard, I’ll throw it into the street.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
“She’s had more penis in her than…I don’t know…a penis factory.”
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“Big Bertha,”
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“She’s too old anyway and appears to have arthritis, which can hinder a woman’s ability to jerk off her male counterpart.”
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“I had a girlfriend once that would put cocaine in her asshole then shove a straw in her asshole and tell me to snort out what”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“Before going to bed, I send an email to my senator telling him he’ll be assassinated in thirteen days.”
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“Didn’t really mean to but when you hit someone in the head fifty or sixty times with a can of beans, it’s kind of unavoidable.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“1.2% of women consider themselves sadistic.”
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― 100% Match
“She is quite lovely in her dead nudeness though.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“I can’t see my wienie, my little pecker, my loving love rod, unless I lean forward.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
“you fucking slug of a human!”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“65% of people—no matter their gender, race, or sexual orientation—who watch reality TV have a diminished sense of self-worth and have virtually no hope for humankind as a whole.”
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― 100% Match
“I have masturbated to Miss Danbury three times, though.”
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“I ended up killing Daphne. Didn’t really mean to but when you hit someone in the head fifty or sixty times with a can of beans, it’s kind of unavoidable.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“98.3% of women do not like being called fat.”
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“I take the squashed cricket from my pocket and throw it in the fryer with the fries.”
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“That dog died years ago.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“I’m not simply looking to get my man rod wet. I can just as easily derive sexual pleasure from mayonnaise jars or crawdad holes.”
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― 100% Match
“cut up the dead kid in my basement and vacuum seal the pieces”
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“the large mayonnaise jars. I don’t think it’s one I’ve masturbated into before.”
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“I have trouble getting to sleep, so I stick my finger in my butt and count to fifty.”
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― 100% Match
“I can’t see my wienie, my little pecker, my loving love rod, unless I lean forward. My belly blocks it from view.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
“I mutter a bunch of curse words and get started, sliding into her flesh, causing that sound that is unlike any other, the sound of thin, dull metal cutting through flesh. It’s an unforgettable sound. A wrong sound.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“Something grew from the left side of the thing’s torso—the side more viewable by Mona—and it looked like an appendage of sorts or a very large skin tag, like a gnarled tree branch of flesh, sticking out three or four inches, with three other meat sticks growing off from it, no longer or bigger than toothpicks.”
― The Dark Side of Hell
― The Dark Side of Hell
“Closing her eyes tight, balling her hands into fists, digging her nails into her palms, Mamie opened her mouth and accepted her dinner.”
― The Dark Side of Hell
― The Dark Side of Hell
“I’m fucking Daphne.”
― Grandpappy
― Grandpappy
“chili burger,”
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― 100% Match
“My license was suspended after an unfortunate incident involving a raccoon, a bottle of castor oil, and a road trip down to Galveston.”
― 100% Match
― 100% Match
