Erika J. Chopich > Quotes

“Loneliness is the only pure pain. All other pain is born of it. It alone ultimately fathers every conceivable protection against it. We begin to wither at its mere mention. It is the ultimate Separation of the soul from humanity. It is what we fear we cannot survive, For it is the hurt we alone Cannot repair. Loneliness is a fissure of the heart that can be bridged only by another. We inflict it, despise it, and deny it, Never realizing That in its presence We are forced to move forward… Loneliness is the book we refuse to read… Our deepest loneliness, which is “bridged only by another,” cannot begin to be healed until we first create the bridge within ourselves, the connection between our Adult and our Child.”
― Erika J. Chopich, Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child

“Our society has long diminished the importance of feelings, worshiping logic while downgrading the wisdom that comes from feelings, touting the left brain while ignoring the right. And this has created a terrible imbalance — the power of logic without the power of wisdom. Wisdom is the accumulation of all our experiences stored as emotion. When you cannot feel what is true, then you cannot utilize your wisdom.”
― Erika J. Chopich, Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child

“The abandoned Inner Child is constantly afraid of being wrong because it believes that being wrong is what leads to rejection. Therefore, it strives to find the “right” way to be in the world. It becomes addicted to “shoulds” and rules as a way to control rejection. It develops a need to be perfect and a belief that it is possible to be perfect. Perfectionism and the fear of being wrong are symptoms of the internal disconnection between the Adult and the Child.”
― Erika J. Chopich, Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child

“The feeling of aloneness is the hardest feeling for all of us to feel. It causes such deep pain that we all work hard to protect ourselves from feeling it. When parents and other adults reject, shame, abandon, and abuse us as children, the pain of their abandonment is so unbearable that the Inner Adult disconnects from the Inner Child so as not to experience these feelings. Then the Inner Child not only feels alone and lonely in the world, but feels alone and empty inside as well, with no one inside to protect it from being hurt by others. As we grow up, the abandoned Inner Child learns to project onto others the internal experience of abandonment.”
― Erika J. Chopich, Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child