Macronomicon > Quotes

“Fun fact: You don’t sink in lava. It’s way more dense than you are.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Generic System

“A lot of people think of a tough guy as someone who can muscle through the impulse to scream, but those kinds of people don’t really exist outside of Hollywood. A real tough guy sticks to the script after the screaming is over.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Fairy System

“moist. Ugh. That word.”
― Macronomicon, Bent and Twisted

“Excellent. You may resume panicking.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Dungeon System

“Myst-enhanced heavy artillery was like a condom: Jeb would rather have one and not need it, than need it and not have one.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Dungeon System

“Since humans’ traits are often expressed in their children, an individual who likes to breed will have many children who also like to breed, eventually becoming the general population. In essence, sluttiness is a self-selecting trait, so humans are just naturally slutty. Good to know. Explains a lot.”
― Macronomicon, Bent and Twisted

“Ben-Hur’ ☑ ‘Pick me up’ ☑ ‘Heisenburg maneuver’ ☑ ‘Heavy ordinance’ X 50 ☑ ‘Explosion dampening’ X 20 ☑ ‘Sleepyhead’ ☑ ‘That’s my car’ ☑ ‘Nitro’ ☑ ‘Viking funeral’ ☑ ‘Jesus take the wheel’ ☑”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Dungeon System

“Yeah, leadership ain’t yellin’ and screamin’, or standing heroically out in front. Not all of it, anyway. Leadership, at its core, is doing your damnedest to bend over backwards to support and shelter the people working under you. They, in turn, throw their heart and soul into their jobs. “Idiots who have this idea of their subordinates fawning over them just because they work for them rarely have their expectations meet reality. Same goes for those who think they can wring money out of employees like a dishrag. Bites ‘em in the ass more often than not.”
― Macronomicon, Industrial Strength Magic

“Dad jokes. It’s not about being funny, it’s about consistency. Like training a dog. Eventually your children are conditioned to laugh, no matter how bad the jokes are.”
― Macronomicon, Industrial Strength Magic

“Leadership seemed to be the art of allowing people to think you were better than you were, and then never disabusing them of that notion.”
― Macronomicon, The Problem With Princesses

“Happiness probably tastes like unshaved armpits.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Generic System

“c̴͖̽̀̋͠ͅȍ̴͙̺͍̤n̷͙͂̿͛̕s̷̼̟̒͋̂͛̕ú̴͍̬͔̀̒̕̚m̵̩͋͘i̶̦̟̬͖̎̅͘ͅn̸̨̙̻͇̬̍̒̚g̶̮͚̫͋̎́̕̕.”
― Macronomicon, Sequel.exe

“WARNING: Converting from metric to Federation Standard may cause the desire to punch random trees, animals, and dirt.”
― Macronomicon, Bent and Twisted

“Ron didn’t like to fight, but he was cursed with usefulness.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Dungeon System

“I don’t want any of you pretending you like me for fear that I’ll beat or resell you. I am your boss. I do not care if you like me, and now that you’re here, you will not be beaten or resold, regardless of what you do. The highest priority for you is simply making sure this job goes off without a hitch. “So contradict me, second-guess me, tell me when I’m fucking up...but as soon as I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it.”
― Macronomicon, Apocalypse: Fairy System