Rayne Constantine > Quotes

“Indeed, the media continually asks the question, "Can men and women really be just friends?" In the end, we have this situation consisting of men who don’t feel they can express emotion outside of a sexual setting, and women who understand that you can. Therefore we set men up to believe that any form of emotion or display of friendship is automatically sexual. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and this generally results in a stranger paying to be inside my Uranus. That was a terrible joke. You’re welcome.”
― Rayne Constantine, Pizza, Pincushions and Playing it Straight

“Sometimes rapport just cannot be built. Sometimes you don’t want to. This was the case with the One True Dumpster Fire booking. Let me paint you a picture. The booking was with a man who kept insisting that his past girlfriends all came "within minutes" of starting to have penetrative sex. Well, he didn’t say precisely that, he said "They all came within minutes of me entering them, " which is just something else. Who the fuck says "me entering them "? I hadn’t even inspected his dick yet, and I already knew the booking was going to be a complete fucking travesty.
He repeated "come for me" several times during as if I were voice-activated while we were in a position he insisted on using. One which made me hyper-aware that my clitoris was almost jammed into my pubic bone to the point I thought it would invert. None of that is physiologically possible, but you don’t think too rationally when the human version of a wet sock is flopping on top of you making what can only be described as "frantic bird sounds". You start to question your motives in life.”
― Rayne Constantine, Pizza, Pincushions and Playing it Straight

“The receptionist is confused. "That was quick," she observes. My client booked a thirty-minute session. We used fifteen.
"He tried to slap me on the arse while I was on top," I explain, "He slapped himself on the nutsack.”
― Rayne Constantine