Robert B. Dilts > Quotes

“a)What causes it to be desirable. b)What causes it to be possible. c)What causes this to be the appropriate path. d)What makes me/us capable. e)What makes me/us deserving.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“Once we can directly experience something without the contamination of judgment or evaluation, our reflections on that experience are much richer and more meaningful.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“Mentoring involves guiding someone to discover his or her own unconscious competencies and overcome internal resistances and interferences, through believing in the person and validating his or her positive intentions. Mentors help to shape or influence a person’s beliefs and values in a positive way by “resonating” with, releasing, or unveiling that person’s inner wisdom, frequently through the mentor’s own example. This type of mentoring often becomes internalized as part of a person, so that the external presence of the mentor is no longer necessary.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“Ask your client to recall a time that he or she was able to successfully manage a time of transition or change—a time that he or she was able to “bounce back” from adversity or “survive in a changing world.” Together with your client, create a “causal loop map” of this ‘story of change’ by going through the following steps: 1.While the client is speaking, note down 7-10 key words from the story or example on a piece of paper. Key words may be of any type: behaviors, people, beliefs, values, phenomena, etc. 2.Draw arrows connecting the key words which illustrate the influences between key words and capture the flow of the story. (The arrows should be in the form of an arc or semi-circle rather than a straight line.) A positive or strengthening influence can be indicated by adding a (+) under the arrow. Negative or weakening influences can be shown by placing a (-) under the arrow. 3.When your client has finished telling his or her story, go over your initial map, checking the key words and giving him or her the chance to edit them, or add other key words you may have missed. Also review and check the links you have drawn between the key words. 4.Make sure that you have “closed” feedback loops (as a rule of thumb all key words should have at least one arrow going from them, and another arrow pointing to them). 5.Refine the map by considering the delays that may be involved between links, and searching for other missing links that may be an important part of the story. 6.Find out what beliefs are behind the map (what assumptions do these links presuppose?). Frequently, you will find that managing change involves several loops relating to the how (the steps and strategies involve), the why (the beliefs, values and motivation related to the change) and who (the role and identity issues).”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“all problems can be reperceived as challenges, or “opportunities” to change, grow or learn.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“The thing to realize about beliefs is that they are not intended to match existing reality. They are intended to provide a motivation and a vision so that your actual behavior can begin to develop and rise to meet them.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Changing Belief Systems With NLP

“whenever I/you_______________________________________ What is a key condition relating to the belief? so that I/you__________________________________________ What is the intention of this belief? if I/you________________________________________________ What constraints or results relate to this belief? *although I/you _______________________________________ What alternatives or constraints are there to this belief? in the same way that I/you_____________________________ What is a similar belief that you already have?”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“According to Korzybski, differentiating orders of abstraction also included distinguishing between (a) descriptions of experiences and (b) inferences (conclusions drawn from our experiences and our descriptions of those experiences); and between descriptions about descriptions, inferences based upon other inferences, affect about affect (feelings about other feelings), and between one person’s abstractions and another person’s abstractions, etc.”
― Robert B. Dilts, NLP II: The Next Generation: Enriching the Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience

“the most important feature of a map is the degree of correspondence between the elements in the map and the elements of the territory they represent.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“beliefs function at a different level than environmental and behavioral reality and don’t change by the same processes.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Changing Belief Systems With NLP

“Value: _____________________ is important and desirable. What is a core value that is important for you to establish or strengthen? because I _____________________________________________ Why is it desirable and appropriate to have this as a value? therefore I ___________________________________________ What is a behavioral consequence of having this value? whenever I ____________________________________________ What is a key situation or condition relating to this value? so that I _____________________________________________ What is the positive purpose of this value? *although I __________________________________________ What alternatives or constraints are there with respect to this value?”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“The NLP process of modeling, for example, involves making a map of a person’s patterns of behavior, which may then be applied in various ways.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“The value of mapping is that it allows us to understand, plan, and communicate about some experience or phenomenon without having to actually “be there.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“this would involve moving incrementally from the negative state to another state which is only somewhat negative; confusion, for example. From the somewhat negative state, a small but significant step can be made to a state that is slightly positive; let’s say curiosity about what might happen next. It is then relatively simple to take a step from the somewhat positive state to the desired state of motivation.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“You can only lead people to change their own beliefs. It is not up to you to change somebody else's belief. The goal is to pace and lead them into establishing a new belief for themselves.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Changing Belief Systems With NLP

“The only thing that characterized these hundred people was that they all believed what they were doing would work for them.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Changing Belief Systems With NLP

“A wise business executive once said that in order to “grow as a leader” a person must feel “a strong will to modify the environment to make it better, then create challenging situations that (he or she) can’t get out of except by changing.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener

“Belief: ________________________________________________ because I/you ________________________________________ Why is it (are you) desirable/possible/appropriate (capable/deserving/responsible) to reach the outcome? therefore I/you________________________________________ What is an effect or requirement of this belief? after I/you ___________________________________________ What has to happen to support this belief? while I/you ___________________________________________ What else is going on concurrently with this belief?”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“You’ve got to want to change, know how to change, and give yourself the chance to change.1”
― Robert B. Dilts, Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well-Being

“By words one of us can give another the greatest happiness or bring about utter despair; by words the teacher imparts his knowledge to the student; by words the orator sweeps his audience with him and determines its judgments and decisions. Words call forth emotions and are universally the means by which we influence our fellow-creatures.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change

“The point is that when you have a belief, even environmental and behavioral evidence won’t change it because a belief isn’t about reality.”
― Robert B. Dilts, Changing Belief Systems With NLP

“Awakening goes beyond coaching, teaching, mentoring and sponsorship to include the level of vision, mission and spirit.”
― Robert B. Dilts, From Coach to Awakener