John Delony > Quotes

“Boundaries come from believing in your time and your space enough to protect it.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“Stories also told me that if I ever stumbled, got hurt, or got scared, I could just numb, scroll, eat, lift, hunt and fish, video game, smoke, golf, drink, Netflix, flirt, gossip, or study myself away from reality. The story said: Just. Keep. Going. So I kept going. Faster and faster. But I never asked myself the magic question . . . What do I want for my one, short, precious life?”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“We’ve created a world our bodies cannot exist in.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“If busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“My story is your story and your story is my story. And everyone is struggling.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Anxiety is not a disease. It’s just your body trying to get your attention.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“Rumination and worry are a total waste of your time.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“was born and raised in Texas, home of the Lone Ranger. I was trained to believe that I could be well all by myself. That I could only count on me. That I did not need other people. This story is a lie.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“with “This is a class assignment,” and (2) they had to engage the interactions with a straight face. They couldn’t give away the punchline. The exchanges went something like this: Students (walking in a group toward a stranger in a mall): “Excuse me, sir!” Stranger (looking around and awkwardly shifting bags of clothes): “Uhh, yeah? Me?” Students: “Yes! You. I was walking by, saw you, and wondered: Will you be my friend? Can I see pictures of your family? What are your political preferences? Can I see the pictures of your tattoos? What are your religious preferences? Why? Are you pro-choice? How come? Who are your favorite musicians? We’re going to read you a list of probing, introspective quotes, and you simply give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down if you like them or don’t like them. If you feel angry about a quote, tell us why.” And so on. My students had to video each interaction. And yes, it was as awkward and cringey as you can imagine. According to the papers they had to write after the fact, the assignment stirred up quite a bit of reflection. In a few short years, my students had come to believe they had “friends” because they knew some information about people. They thought they were connecting with those people. The exercise helped them see that our social media exchanges are anything but normal. The thumbs ups and thumbs downs are anything but connecting. The reality is that most of us don’t have any friends. Until recently, friendship was about enduring the awkwardness and ugliness of human”
― Dr. John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“When you’ve been without people for a long time, or when your greatest comfort is in solitude, connection can be hard.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“You cannot be well alone.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Discipline is the antidote to excuses. Discipline is just a decision made over and over and again. In the face of discipline, excuses don't matter.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Choose your hard”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“You get to decide who hurts your feelings. You get to decide who pierces your heart, frustrates you, and annoys you. People can take away your livelihood, your possessions, and even your life—but you get to choose who hurts you.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“communication is not connection. Communication is the transfer of information. Connection is the mutual weight-bearing of one another’s burdens and the celebrating of one another’s joys.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“loneliness has been associated with personality disorders and psychoses, suicide, impaired cognitive performance and cognitive decline over time, increased risk of Alzheimer’s . . . , and increases in depressive symptoms.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“You Cannot Be Well Alone The third step on the path to healing and wellness is to get connected to other people.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“The non-anxious person rejects loneliness. He or she chooses connection, even when it’s hard. You choose love over hate, friendships over disconnection, and awkwardness over networking. This is an entry point toward a non-anxious life.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“When we take ownership of our stories, we get to determine what happens next.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Rumination is an utter waste of your time. It’s just not going to work. It’s like using a hammer to saw through a plank of wood. It’s the wrong tool for any job.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“We’re trying to jam an electric car charger into the backside of the mule pulling our buggy. It’s not working.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“When we have thoughts and feelings, we assume they’re right. We feel like we’re telling ourselves the truth. When we don’t believe in ourselves or we don’t think we’re good at something, we believe we’re right about those beliefs as well.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Trappist monk Thomas Merton wrote in his poem “The Inner Law”: He who is controlled by objects Loses possession of his inner self: If he no longer values himself, How can he value others? If he no longer values others, He is abandoned.101”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“Here’s the truth: There is no going back. The past is over. The old days are gone.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“Grief is feeling like you can’t tread water for one more second.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“From this point forward, every minute you choose being resentful, angry, or bitter, is a minute you’re choosing to have less joy, less love, and less fun. When you choose anger and resentment, you’re choosing to not fully live whatever life you have left. To be whole, you have to set down your anger, forgive your husband, and let those things go.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“If you have to talk to more than three people about the same problem, you don’t want help, you want attention.”120”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
― John Delony, Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness

“master therapist Terrence Real says, “Family dysfunction rolls down from generation to generation, like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person in one generation has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to their ancestors and spares the children that follow.”78”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life

“A healthy community is a thick system of relationships. It is irregular, dynamic, organic, and personal. . . . People are up in one another’s business, know each other’s secrets, walk with each other in times of grief, and celebrate together in times of joy. . . . People help raise one another’s kids. In these kinds of communities, which were typical in all human history until the last sixty years or so, people extended to neighbors the sorts of devotion that today we extend only to family. . . . The social pressure can be slightly overbearing, the intrusiveness sometimes hard to bear, but the discomfort is worth it because the care and benefits are so great.”
― John Delony, Building a Non-Anxious Life