Bryan Smith > Quotes

“This has been an interesting fucking week.”
― Bryan Smith, Surrounded By Bastards

“Like Doctor Who’s TARDIS, or like the house in that book Anna had loaned him once, the one where a bunch of young assholes got lost while driving through a mountain range and wound up at the creepy manor home of a monster disguised as a human.”
― Bryan Smith, The Halloween Bride

“Judging from the molten aspect of the diarrhea, it’d probably been something Mexican,”
― Bryan Smith, Surrounded By Bastards

“His head was ringing like a goddamn church bell on a Sunday, only instead of calling the devout to worship it was signaling his total and obvious eternal damnation.”
― Bryan Smith, Surrounded By Bastards

“You can stay here and rot in luxury with me or”
― Bryan Smith, Slowly We Rot

“In your head, you’re the star of an epic movie based on your amazing fucking life. ”
― Bryan Smith, Slowly We Rot

“Hoke stared. Hoke said, “Gulp.”
― Bryan Smith, Depraved

“In his twenty-four years on earth (the age on his phony driver’s license was a lie), he’d had exactly one honest-to-gosh girlfriend, one willing to hang out with him longer than a few weeks before either ghosting him or telling him to fuck off. He still missed Cynthia. They were together almost ten whole months. When she abruptly left him two years ago, he was despondent, crying almost continuously for weeks on end. That was such a bad time. He thought a lot about killing himself. Only the constant background presence of The Visitor made any of it bearable. The Visitor was an interdimensional psychic parasite but also a sharer of secret knowledge.”
― Bryan Smith, The Unseen

“The main thing on Caleb Walker’s mind as he sat at the table in the kitchen that morning was tits.”
― Bryan Smith, Last Day

“Making matters even worse was Jimmy’s rancid breath, which reeked of horseradish. ”
― Bryan Smith, All Hallow's Dead

“Just when it felt like you were getting ahead of the game a little, some damn crisis or other would come along to bring you right back to square one.”
― Bryan Smith, Depraved 2

“who was experiencing a bit of post-traumatic stress.”
― Bryan Smith, Slowly We Rot

“I suck, she thought. I have achieved levels of suckitude unrivaled by anyone ever in the entire history of suck.”
― Bryan Smith, Kayla and the Devil

“Yep. Reckon y’all dumb meat-sacks ’bout to get fornicated and buzzed up right nice.”
― Bryan Smith, Dirty Rotten Hippies and Other Stories