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“Vanamonde: Welcome home, Lady Heterodyne.
Agatha: Thank you, Herr von Mekkhan, but I can't help but notice that my home appears to be on fire.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Siege of Mechanicsburg
“Agatha: She uses poison?!
Gil: Well, I always thought she just couldn't make coffee. But now, I'm not so sure.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“Violetta: Didn't you even run any tests?
Tarvek: With what?! I came in here in a bedsheet!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“Tarvek: You came running in and saw someone you hate and fear trying to kill her – of course you reacted.
Gil: I do not fear you.
Tarvek: Really? You should.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“Gil: Wait. This is Castle Heterodyne. Maybe it's supposed to be on fire.
Castle: FIRE?! AAHHH! PUT IT OUT! SAVE MEEEE!
Tarvek: ... apparently not.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“Tarvek: How are you even still moving?
Zola: HATE! Hate and drugs! Lovely, lovely drugs! I'm a beautiful, chemical killing machine! ”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“You are not the first Heterodyne to be more concerned with destruction than with the continuation of the family.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Heirs of the Storm
“Ah! Violetta! My little cloud of doom! Even you cannot dampen my spirits right now.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!”

“Oh?”

“If you die, I’ll bring you back!”

“How…reassuring.”

“And then you’ll be my little toy…eeee!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“What are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you, obviously.”
“Seriously?”

“You have to ask? You’re my prisoner. A bunch of jumped-up idiots just wander in and steal you? I’m not going to let them get away with that-“

“Oh…no, I suppose not.”

“It makes both of us look bad. Besides, I still need you.”
― Kaja Foglio, Queens and Pirates
“Everything does not have to be a test.”

“Life is a test! Now answer!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Beetleburg Clank
“What-you’re Smoke Knights! Stop this at once!”

“Oh, do shut up, Your Highness.”
― Kaja Foglio, The Incorruptible Library (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 3)
“If you beg the Heterodyne nicely, I will grudgingly classify you as one of her minions. Excellent medical benefits! All the pie you want! Free haircuts!”
― Kaja Foglio, The City of Lightning (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 2)
“Hmf, I certainly hope that cable holds.”

“Don’t worry. I should be able to catch you if it breaks. Heh heh. Probably.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Heirs of the Storm
“Oooh! A real hero! I haven’t squashed one in years.”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell
“There’s a temple to a dark god or some such in the basement. I’ll be there.”

“Ah, yes…that can happen if one doesn’t keep an eye on the drains…”
― Kaja Foglio, Sparks and Monsters
“What are you doing here?!”

“Running your empire! What took you so long? Where have you been?!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Siege of Mechanicsburg
“Hah-no danger of feeling homesick with you here.”

“Hee hee! Thank you!”
― Kaja Foglio, The City of Lightning (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 2)
“When you’ve been captured as often I have, you develop an interest in locks and escapology.”
― Kaja Foglio, The Incorruptible Library (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 3)
tags: aldin
“We’ll make a hero of you yet, young villain!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Siege of Mechanicsburg
“Now, now-don’t strain that magnificent brain of yours trying to work out my motives-we have a lunatic clank to destroy!”
― Kaja Foglio, The Beast of the Rails (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 1)
“Are you crazy?! Oh, wait! Of course you are!”
― Kaja Foglio, Agatha Heterodyne and the Heirs of the Storm
“Shall I set up a city-wide broadcast so you may begin your reign with a nice rant?”
― Kaja Foglio, The City of Lightning (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 2)
“Heh. If we got married now, Martellus wouldn’t be able to-“

“Out of the question.”

“Aw, you always say that.”

“Twenty times a day!”

“Ah, but all those others are just emissaries. I’m the only hopeful young lady you get to insult in person.”
― Kaja Foglio, The Beast of the Rails (The Second Journey of Agatha Heterodyne Volume 1)
“Urgh. How frustrating. I don’t even have time to gloat.”
― Kaja Foglio, The Exorcism Engines

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