Ed Patrick > Quotes

“stretching of the anus can potentially lead to the heart slowing or even stopping.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“I fill out a death certificate for an elderly man. Later, Dr Commons calls me. ‘It looks like there’s a problem with your death certificate. They apparently aren’t dead.’ ‘What?’ I say in shock, struggling to work out what he means. ‘Because you’ve certified your own death.’ Turns out I put my name in the wrong box. ‘The coroner has asked me to check if you are braindead. I said I’d try to find out.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“The light flickers on and I discover my comfortable chair is actually an extremely shocked dad. I’m sitting in his lap.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“One thing you learn from medical school is that hospital is a safe space for letting off any farts.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“I am to ask every child to please go home, defecate in a pot and bring it to school like some sort of show and smell.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“Yes, exams don’t stop when you become a doctor, as you shell out exam fees again and again to make it to the next levels of your career. Eventually they stop, when you retire.”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist

“protamine, made from none other than the sperm of fish. How do you collect fish sperm and who does that job?”
― Ed Patrick, Catch Your Breath: The Secret Life of a Sleepless Anaesthetist