Benjamin Kerei > Quotes

“Look for me on my dying day, so I can show you the truth of my heart. I took no joy in your death. Felt no happiness in your suffering. You were the storm, and I the wall that held back your destruction. So go in peace and hear no curse from my lips, for you were bound by your nature and I was bound by mine.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh, Great! I Discovered How to Cultivate a Farmer in 52 Easy Steps

“She could have asked me to do anything, and no matter how heinous, I would have complied. Slaughter a kindergartener? Sure. Scam cancer patients? No problem. Leave a positive review of the new Star Wars movies saying they were better than the originals? I would have smiled while typing. It was sickening.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“People don’t fit anywhere, Arnold. You aren’t building materials that are made to fit a perfect purpose. There is no place set aside where you perfectly slot into. No place which exists in adulthood, anyway. If you go around expecting to find that place, you will only find frustration and disappointment.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Salem sighed you do not kill ghosts you banish them!... ... I yawned already fallen back asleep "You said it wasn't dangerous, why is it now a menace." ..."It petted me." Salem said with a small growl.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Growin up, before I got interested in boobs, there was one movie I loved above all others, Home Alone! My plans for a trap covered farm would make Kevin McCallister proud!”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“You get to know yourself, your skills, your limitations, your hopes and fears, you understand your shape and substance, and then make a place in the world that fits you.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Salem glared at me! "I am grouchy, because your ignorance has taken me to a backwater level 3 village in the middle of nowhere. There is no library, no restaurants no theater and there isn't a teleportation circle anywhere within a half weeks travel!”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Diva gritted her teeth. “We aren’t his harem.” “Girlfriends, concubines, you service his lusty appetites. I read the articles.” Luke snorted into his oatmeal. That was the wrong thing to do. All three women turned as one and glared at him. Ice formed over his clothing as Sharani cleared her throat. “Is there something you would like to add to the conversation, hero?” “Danger, Will Robinson,” I whispered so softly only he could possibly hear me. He chuckled, involuntarily. Then, realising what I had done, Luke started running for the”
― Benjamin Kerei, Death Loot & Vampires

“The exercise involved pretending to be two people: a merciless interviewer, and a brutally honest and courageous version of yourself. The interviewer started off by asking you a simple question, such as, “Why don’t you feel like you deserve to spend money on yourself?” And then the more honest and courageous version of you would answer truthfully, in a way that made you feel vulnerable. A way that made you feel uncomfortable with its honesty. That was the hard part. The truth wasn’t meant to make you feel good. If it did, you were doing it wrong.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh, Great! I Discovered How to Cultivate a Farmer in 52 Easy Steps

“That might have been a beautiful moment if I didn’t realise you were making most of it up to procrastinate your way out of farming.” He raised his paw and pointed to the ground next to me. “You missed a spot.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“...the cat stopped laughin' and hissed, who you calling Cat human I am a Familiar, I am a being of power, intelligence and presence and you dirty cretin should worship the ground I walk upon.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“So, if I can’t find where I fit in this world, what can I do?” “You get to know yourself, your skills, your limitations, your hopes and fears, you understand your shape and substance, and then make a place in the world that fits you.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“I'm trying to find where I fit into this world."
Salem's purr changed tone. "Ah, I see your confusion. You've made an incorrect assumption you believe is the truth and are trying to validate it."
"Huh?"
"People don't fit anywhere, Arnold. You aren't building materials that are made to fit a perfect purpose. There is no place set aside where you perfectly slot into. No place which exists in adulthood, anyway. If you go around expecting to find that place, you will only find frustration and disappointment."
"So, if I can't find where I fit into this world, what can I do?"
"You get to know yourself, your skills, your limitations, your hopes and fears, you understand your shape and substance, and then make a place in the world that fits you.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Why can't you just give me your name?" ..."I am a familiar." He said slowly. "We cannot share our name even a false name, it is part of our nature. You will have to choose for me, but if you dare call me Soot or Mittens I will kill you in your sleep!”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“I wasn’t a sheep. I wasn’t a fucking farmer. I was goddamn gamer and I could be a toxic sonofabitch if you pissed me off. She had fucked with the wrong guy.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“angry as the day he was born,”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“A man in the most elaborate suit and robe I had ever seen stepped forward. It was like someone artfully vomited a peacock over him.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Torvac will take Arnold to restaurant of Torvac’s wife, so Arnold can meet Orlana, who is small and angry and does not let Torvac fight as much as Torvac would like, but Torvac loves with all Torvac’s heart, no matter how many salads Orlana makes Torvac eat.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh, Great! I Discovered How to Cultivate a Farmer in 52 Easy Steps

“No one respects a vampire who sparkles.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Magic, Academies & Vampires

“Yes. The foundational mechanism for the dwarven race is mining and crafting. The elven system is based on forestry and hunting. The orc system is built on battle.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“People don’t fit anywhere, Arnold. You aren’t building materials that are made to fit a perfect purpose. There is no place set aside where you perfectly slot into. No place which exists in adulthood, anyway. If you go around expecting to find that place, you will only find frustration and disappointment.” “So, if I can’t find where I fit in this world, what can I do?” “You get to know yourself, your skills, your limitations, your hopes and fears, you understand your shape and substance, and then make a place in the world that fits you.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“But the destination is never part of the journey.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh, Great! I Discovered How to Cultivate a Farmer in 52 Easy Steps

“What about that armour?” “Another form of possession, except this time an angel appears to smite you.” “Then you get dragged down to Hell?” “Then you get dragged down to Hell.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Death Loot & Vampires

“That will also open a portal and drag you to Hell.” “Lot of things drag you to Hell around here.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Death Loot & Vampires

“The only reason I didn’t jump on him immediately was there was no sweetness to his blood to entice me. He smelled like a corpse. Or perhaps a salad.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Death Loot & Vampires

“I am fairly certain your actions will be considered a favour as you are allowing them to interfere with their enemy.” A look of absolute horror crossed Jeric’s face. “What kind of world did you live in?” “One where the people were the monsters.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“I barely noticed the prompt I dismissed. “Shit. That was a boss move. I mean, if you wanted to intimidate someone with how tough you are, peeling off your own face has to rank at the top of that list.” “Agreed,” Salem said.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“Yes, everybody laughs at Torvac’s suffering. But Torvac is big man and accepts laughter among friends. Torvac’s wife does not. Orlana is small and angry.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh, Great! I Discovered How to Cultivate a Farmer in 52 Easy Steps

“Arnold, that must be the most underhanded manipulation of the laws I have ever heard firsthand. And I am almost entirely certain it is legal.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

“He seemed to be satisfied, so he pointed to the table. “Can you name these swords?” I went through their names. I couldn’t remember where I’d heard them, but the names came easily. “Correct. Now which of them is the most lethal?” “Whichever is closest.”
― Benjamin Kerei, Death Loot & Vampires