Jessie Walker > Quotes

“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn. Before the clock speeds up, and the world goes on spinning without you, you either pull yourself out in time to catch up, or you get left behind.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“You’re a ticking time bomb,” I hear myself say, my voice distant even to my own ears. “One that just keeps fucking rebuilding itself after every explosion, over and over and over again. But I don’t. I don’t rebuild. I don’t heal. I just keep taking it. But I can’t anymore. There’s not enough left of me to take any more shrapnel and walk out alive.”
― Jessie Walker, If There's a Way

“I might love you harder when you’re at your worst, but that’s only because you need it harder then. But my love for you when you’re at your best?” I release a breath, smiling. “It’s unmatched. It consumes me.”
― Jessie Walker, Still Beating

“Beauty means nothing, if you’re ugly in here.” She presses a hand against my chest, over my heart. “Be kind to people, and you’ll be the handsomest, prettiest boy of all.”
― Jessie Walker, Every Breath After: Part One

“I was taught craving another man was a sin, but I see now how wrong they were. It’s not the fact it’s a man I desire so desperately, it’s the intensity with which I claw and grab and reach for him that has them clutching their bibles. I’d kick down the door to Hell itself to be with this man… And that terrifies them. It terrifies them that love could be so raw, so primal, so powerful—stronger than any prayer.”
― Jessie Walker, Exiled

“But nothing. New York is you and Izzy and Waylon’s dream.” I press a hand to my chest. “Not mine.” Eyes creasing, he says, “What’s your dream then?” You. You’re my dream.”
― Jessie Walker, Every Breath After: Part One

“It’s a far worse fate than death, I imagine. To be caged.”
― Jessie Walker, Little Bird Lost

“This Jeremy—my Jeremy—the only Jeremy that matters, doesn’t see me though. He’s miles away, gaze far off.”
― Jessie Walker, Every Breath After: Part One

“I hate you.” If this is hate, baby, I think, licking across his teeth, I don’t know if I’d survive your love.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“And yet, for some reason, the particular brand of torture that comes with being near Jeremy Montgomery, is one I welcome willingly. Seeking it out. Craving it like it’s just another flask, filled to the brim with liquid fire I can asphyxiate on. Blaze my insides. Burn it all into ash. It’s fucked up on so many levels.”
― Jessie Walker, Every Breath After: Part One

“The sun will always rise again.” I shrug. “You just need to make it through the night. Take it day by day—moment by moment if you need to—until you reach the other side. Nothing lasts forever.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“It’s insane. Loving him this easily… Like every piece of me was made for every piece of him.”
― Jessie Walker, Still Beating

“it’s a song only he can hear. One that calls to that bottomless beast inside him, begging for everything to just stop. Please, just one more, one more hit to make it all go away—”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“There’s only so much time a person’s allowed to grieve before it becomes an inconvenience, I’ve come to learn.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“Until one cold rainy day last September, when I realized I was no longer hanging on to her… But hanging on because of him.”
― Jessie Walker, All We Are

“It’s a searing kiss, the kind that stokes the
flames, building and building until I know we’ll eventually, inevitably, combust from the pressure. All I can do is hope that once it settles, enough embers will have reached
those dark, cold, deserted places where loneliness lives and fear thrives.”
― Jessie Walker, Still Beating

“You said something once,” he adds quietly after a moment. “When you were four or five, maybe? I don’t know, but you were young. I was in town for the weekend, and I was watching you for the night. We were watching some Disney movie, I think? I don’t remember which one, but…” He trails off, inhaling deeply. Frowning, I look up at him. He smiles sadly, searching my gaze. “You asked if boys get princes too.”
― Jessie Walker

“And then someday”
― Jessie Walker, Every Breath After: Part One

“Waylon taps the mic a couple times, waiting for the crowd to quiet. Smirking, he presses his mouth to where his fingers just were. “Hi.” Annnndddddd there goes my boxers.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“Fear. It’s such a small word for what this is. So weak and mild. This is something else completely. Terror in its rawest, basest form. The kind that sinks into your bones, knits itself within your soul, as you realize in real-time that you’ll never escape this moment. It’ll be with you until you die, whether that’s tonight, tomorrow, or in the next fifty years. It’s the moment you lose the person you were, and you can’t do a fucking thing about it.”
― Jessie Walker, Little Bird Lost

“I look up just as a gorgeously restored ’67 black Impala pulls into the lot, stopping right before me.”
― Jessie Walker, If There's a Way

“Hunger like nothing I’ve ever felt before consumes me, and it’s a damn crime it took this long to get here. To this moment, where he is me and I am him, and I will destroy anything or anybody who tries to sever us.
Unhealthy, my ass. This love is just straight up primal. Our need for each other ingrained in us as deeply as our need for air. Inescapable.”
― Jessie Walker, Still Beating

“Art is a lot like a parasite. An invasion of undeniable need to share your soul with the world. To try and make the world a little better than how you found it. It consumes you to the point of desperation. Begging you to just let it out; see me, hear me.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“Because making Mason Wyatt happy has and will always be the fix I can’t resist, even if it’s at the cost of my own wellbeing.”
― Jessie Walker, All We Are

“There’re a lot of meanings behind this symbol, but that’s the one I chose for myself. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” And my heart... It. Just. Explodes. There’s no other word to describe it.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“I don’t think she’d want you to be sad,” I tell him after a moment. “You never had a mom, but I do, and I’m pretty sure that’s, like, a rule or something. Moms don’t want their kids sad. Especially on birthdays.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“Just two boys singing into a half-empty bottle of Jack, heads bent together as they try to belt out the words through their laughter, and I think⁠— This. Right here. Right fucking now. This is why I’m here. Waylon’s bright green-gold eyes find mine. His dimples are on full display as we grin big stupid grins, and sing our way through the bridge of my favorite Rolling Stones song. This is what I came back for. Not for answers. Not for closure. I came back to remember what it was like to be happy. To be whole.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“His dark blond hair curls over his eyes, and I just...I can’t resist. Not anymore. Not now, when he looks so damn peaceful. Quiet. The guy’s rarely ever fucking quiet. I card my fingers through the pieces, brushing them away. I tell myself I’ll just stay here for a minute. Just a minute... I’m not sure when I cave and gather his head in my lap, but here we are. My fingers play idly with his hair as I stare blankly at the wall.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will

“He married my sister.”
― Jessie Walker, If There's a Way

“Because that’s the thing about life. It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to come full circle. We just like to believe it does.”
― Jessie Walker, Where There's a Will