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“Nothing says, ‘Thanks for being my fake boyfriend and taking me to heights of pleasure I never knew possible,’ quite like an iTunes gift card.”
― The Cuffing Season Contract
― The Cuffing Season Contract
“His business financing probably has a better rate, but like hell I’m going to have a guy who knows what my butthole tastes like run a credit check on me. I’d rather die.”
― The Big Caulk
― The Big Caulk





