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“Instead of a fire burning your house down, benzos are the thief that steals everything you own a piece at a time.”
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
“I drink in days like these—days when I don’t feel frayed and adrenaline soaked. Despite the Ambien and the recommended booster of Benadryl, sleep now feels like a game of chance, a roll of the dice. Snake eyes and I’m in luck. A one and a two, no dice and I wander the dimly lit hall. This is my temporary fate, I think. Soon I’ll give birth to my baby girl and I won’t feel knifed and I’ll never take a pill again.”
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
“Wasn’t it supposed to normalize after the baby was born? I feel a growing desperation. There’s a bottle of Ambien in the bathroom. Just one, I think. Just tonight, so I can sleep. Then: Don’t be ridiculous. My body will return to normal eventually. I will do my meditations and my valerian tea, I tell myself. I will be strong. I will not take the fucking pills.”
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
“Rather than stand in horror at the shore of my own suffering, I know that I must keep my eye trained on the beautiful.”
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness
― Blood Orange Night: My Journey to the Edge of Madness


