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“Actually," she says, releasing his hand, "you do. I think you want to be you more than anything. You want to be the person you could have been without all the bullshit, yes?" He's frowning but he's receptive. "That's what I wanted, too. And that's what I eventually became. But it takes time, and it takes work - even the 'drag them into girlhood kicking and screaming' method requires something of you eventually - and more than anything else it takes understanding yourself. Picking out the parts of yourself that are real and not just more of the bullshit. Think of this as another shot at adolescence. It actually is, in many ways, since the basement can be a lot like a very small residential school and your body really is going through a whole lot of changes. Your first adolescence wasn't quick, was it? And was it easy? No. You're growing up all over again, as someone kinda new and kinda not, and you can't rush these things.”
―
―
“If it’s bad opsec to list your crimes on a coffee mug, it’s worse to be caught drinking out of it.”
― Welcome to Dorley Hall
― Welcome to Dorley Hall
“Actually," she says, releasing his hand, "you do. I think you want to be you more than anything. You want to be the person you could have been without all the bullshit, yes?" He's frowning but he's receptive. "That's what I wanted, too. And that's what I eventually became. But it takes time, and it takes work - even the 'drag them into girlhood kicking and screaming' method requires something of you eventually - and more than anything else it takes understanding yourself. Picking out the parts of yourself that are real and not just more of the bullshit. Think of this as another shot at adolescence. It actually is, in many ways, since the basement can be a lot like a very small residential school and your body really is going through a whole lot of
changes. Your first adolescence wasn't quick, was it? And was it easy? No. You're growing up all over again, as someone kinda
new and kinda not, and you can't rush these things.”
―
changes. Your first adolescence wasn't quick, was it? And was it easy? No. You're growing up all over again, as someone kinda
new and kinda not, and you can't rush these things.”
―
“Idiot,” Stefan mutters, and catches Aaron looking at him strangely for a moment, before the boy returns to his stubborn breakfast.
“So,” Aaron says, around a mouthful of dry Weetabix, “are you ready to tell me your crimes, yet?”
“Are you?”
“I feel like you’ll judge me. Will you judge me?”
“Yeah, probably,” Stefan admits.
“Hah! You really are like Raph. He judges me a lot, too, but I’m, like, seventy-to-eighty percent certain he’s knocked a bunch of women around, which is way more extreme than my thing. Except getting him to admit it is like pulling Goslafin implants out of Declan’s stomach.”
“It’s Goserelin, you fucking imbecile!” Will shouts, from the other end of the table.
“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?” Stefan whispers.
Aaron replies, with a finger to his lips, “Ssshhh. Watch.”
Stefan looks back over. Adam’s put a hand on Will’s wrist, to quiet him, and Will waits a second before shaking it off. Adam looks put out for a moment, but rests his hand on the table next to Will’s, just centimetres apart. Their conversation resumes.
“What do you think?” Aaron says quietly. “Closet cases? Or just really, really repressed? Adam’s from this freaky Christian sect, the New Church of Something-or-Other, and William is a truly massive wanker.”
“The idea that all homophobes are closeted gay people is just a myth,” Stefan says. “A couple of big-name arseholes getting exposed doesn’t make it a pattern.”
“Whatever. I think they want to touch dicks.” He slaps his hands against each other a few times.
“That’s not how gay men have sex, Aaron.”
“Sounds fun, though, right?” Aaron says, grinning, and then adds, “Boarding school,” by way of explanation, and shovels more dry Weetabix into his mouth.
“Why haven’t you put milk on? Wouldn’t it make it easier to eat?”
“It’s oat milk. And this is Weetabix. I won’t pour oats onto oats. It’s perverse!”
“Weetabix is made of wheat, Aaron. It’s in the name. There’s even an oat version. Called Oatibix.”
“Oh. Never mind, then. Don’t tell Will I said that.”
“I heard, idiot,” Will says.”
― Welcome to Dorley Hall
“So,” Aaron says, around a mouthful of dry Weetabix, “are you ready to tell me your crimes, yet?”
“Are you?”
“I feel like you’ll judge me. Will you judge me?”
“Yeah, probably,” Stefan admits.
“Hah! You really are like Raph. He judges me a lot, too, but I’m, like, seventy-to-eighty percent certain he’s knocked a bunch of women around, which is way more extreme than my thing. Except getting him to admit it is like pulling Goslafin implants out of Declan’s stomach.”
“It’s Goserelin, you fucking imbecile!” Will shouts, from the other end of the table.
“You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?” Stefan whispers.
Aaron replies, with a finger to his lips, “Ssshhh. Watch.”
Stefan looks back over. Adam’s put a hand on Will’s wrist, to quiet him, and Will waits a second before shaking it off. Adam looks put out for a moment, but rests his hand on the table next to Will’s, just centimetres apart. Their conversation resumes.
“What do you think?” Aaron says quietly. “Closet cases? Or just really, really repressed? Adam’s from this freaky Christian sect, the New Church of Something-or-Other, and William is a truly massive wanker.”
“The idea that all homophobes are closeted gay people is just a myth,” Stefan says. “A couple of big-name arseholes getting exposed doesn’t make it a pattern.”
“Whatever. I think they want to touch dicks.” He slaps his hands against each other a few times.
“That’s not how gay men have sex, Aaron.”
“Sounds fun, though, right?” Aaron says, grinning, and then adds, “Boarding school,” by way of explanation, and shovels more dry Weetabix into his mouth.
“Why haven’t you put milk on? Wouldn’t it make it easier to eat?”
“It’s oat milk. And this is Weetabix. I won’t pour oats onto oats. It’s perverse!”
“Weetabix is made of wheat, Aaron. It’s in the name. There’s even an oat version. Called Oatibix.”
“Oh. Never mind, then. Don’t tell Will I said that.”
“I heard, idiot,” Will says.”
― Welcome to Dorley Hall
“Rachel nods slowly. “So what’s with the kidnapping jokes, then?”
“What?”
“I heard, like, five, just over dinner. One girl, that one in the stripy socks and the cat ear hoodie, said to her friend, and I quote—” Rachel stares upwards, the way she does when she’s remembering something exactly, “—’No, you can’t have my baked potato, I earned that potato, I was a good girl for that potato, I spent a whole year in an underground prison for that potato, I was kidnapped off the streets of Basingstoke for that potato, I was castrated for that potato, get your own, slut.’”
Melissa closes her eyes and groans.
“How do you do that?” Shahida asks.
“You know what I do for a living,” Rachel says. “I had to learn how to remember stuff. Anyway, then another girl at the table held up her potato, said, ‘Castrato,’ and laughed so hard she nearly choked on her dinner.”
― Secrets of Dorley Hall
“What?”
“I heard, like, five, just over dinner. One girl, that one in the stripy socks and the cat ear hoodie, said to her friend, and I quote—” Rachel stares upwards, the way she does when she’s remembering something exactly, “—’No, you can’t have my baked potato, I earned that potato, I was a good girl for that potato, I spent a whole year in an underground prison for that potato, I was kidnapped off the streets of Basingstoke for that potato, I was castrated for that potato, get your own, slut.’”
Melissa closes her eyes and groans.
“How do you do that?” Shahida asks.
“You know what I do for a living,” Rachel says. “I had to learn how to remember stuff. Anyway, then another girl at the table held up her potato, said, ‘Castrato,’ and laughed so hard she nearly choked on her dinner.”
― Secrets of Dorley Hall
