Caitlin Rozakis > Quotes

“He woke up with no eyebrows and no idea how he'd gotten into such a position.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“It occurred to him that a spell to make one’s enemies into idiots via the power of breasts might be immensely helpful. Then again, it might not be a spell. It might have only been the breasts.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“So this was shock. It seemed terribly inconvenient that the brain's reaction to being placed in mortal peril as to become much stupider.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“But we don’t choose what life we get, we just do our best to make the most of it.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Valevna: ''Who's the real anyone? When does who you're pretending to be stop being a pretense and turns into who you really are?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“If he was going to fail at “ominous,” though, it might have been nice to at least achieve “picturesque.” Maybe he could terrorize them into a beautification project.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“You need to understand—if a woman gets even a hint of power, the first thing everyone assumes is that she’s slept her way to it.” “So you’ve turned that into a weapon,” he said. “Women don’t have to do anything to be branded a whore in the first place,”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“It occured to him that a spell to make one's enemies into idiots via the power of breasts might be immensely helpful. Then again, it might not be a spell. It might have only been the breasts.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Can’t please anyone. Will never prove to anyone you not evil. They never forget. Maybe you not deserve them to forgive. Still want to do evil tomorrow? Just because they expect? Even if don’t want to do evil? They choose, not you?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“They're on a tour. A tour of the moat full of deadly squid, and the Garden of Death, and the torture chambers, and the Dark Wizard portrait gallery, and the banquet hall full of captured banners of slaughtered foes.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“He wondered which had come first, the conviction that women would treat him with disdain or his apparent determination to treat them like they would before they could get that far.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“When does who you’re pretending to be stop being a pretense and turns into who you really are?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Gug." Ah, monosyllables, his old friend. They would always be there, even when all other concepts of fundamental liguistics deserted him.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“I suck.” “Yeah, a little. Me too,” he said. “It’s because we’re made of people. Humans are a terrible building material.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association

“Jurassic Park had lied a lot, but then again so had most books she'd read about parenthood”
― Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association

“But no, you came here armored in your own righteousness”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“It was enough to make him want to give up and go be a farmer, except he looked out on fields full of farmers each morning and, realistically, he did not want that at all.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“But, just as one should not bring a knife to a gunfight, one should not bring brownies to a magic school picnic.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association

“He’d clearly chosen a ridiculous name for himself, and gone well out of his way to acquire the trappings required to create a certain impression. No one stumbled on furniture that appalling by accident. His former self had put in quite the effort.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“I don't know how I feel about Aria taking a potion every day," Vivian said. She'd seen the floating eyeballs in the apothecary in the village.

"At least with Ritalin, we'd know it's been through a double-blind trial," he [Daniel] agreed reluctantly.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association

“You didn’t kill those two. Just terrified one and tortured the other. Who knows how many murders you succeeded at. And those two were not for lack of trying. Whether or not they actually died, you meant to kill them. You were just incompetent.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“I can get gingerbread men anywhere," whined a little boy. Gav privately wondered what kind of parent brought a child into a lair of evil, but wasn't about to argue with someone who had already picked up four weasels-on-a-stick.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“That’s the difference, isn’t it, […] whether you want to be a hero, or just want to do the right thing.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Men don’t always make the family decisions, my dear, but I suppose it’s important to let them feel heard.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, The Grimoire Grammar School Parent Teacher Association

“Valevna: Who's the real anyone? When does who you're pretending to be stop being a pretense and turns into who you really are?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“You seem to have an odd relationship with your goblins.” He shrugged. “It’s hard to hire good help.” “When you keep setting them on fire?” “Perhaps I should reconsider some of my employment policies,” he admitted.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“How did someone decide to go down the path of darkness?”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful

“Scrawny chickens roasted with garlic, basted in garlic, slathered in garlic, encrusted with garlic. Garlic chicken on a stick, garlic salt beef on a stick, garlic small unidentified bird on a stick, garlic squirrel on a stick, garlic something-claiming-to-be-aquatic-and-he-hoped-it-wasn’t-moat-squid on a stick. Garlic knots, garlic breads, garlic pretzels. Tubs of dried garlic, powdered garlic, garlic sauces, garlic jam, garlic vinegar, garlic cheese, garlic pickles, pickled garlic. Candied garlic, garlic brittle, apple cake with roasted garlic that contained rather more garlic than apple. Wreaths of garlic. Decorative sprays of garlic. Knitted garlic bulbs with faces to be played with by and inspire nightmares in children. Misshapen hats meant to suggest garlic, because naturally one wanted to wear garlic on one’s head. Garlic-shaped candles he could only pray were not scented with garlic.”
― Caitlin Rozakis, Dreadful