Tiffany Hunt > Quotes

“If I was going to be a villain, I might as well commit to the role.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“No rest for the wicked—or for a villain hopelessly intrigued by his troublesome bride.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“My wife had woken up and chosen violence. And fuck me if it wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“All I knew was that I wasn’t letting her go”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating [and Other War Crimes]

“Some texts deserve to be flung. Especially when they’ve wasted hours of my time.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating [and Other War Crimes]

“He’s learning. Slower than a concussed tortoise, but learning nonetheless.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“In accordance with ancient tradition,” the cleric proclaimed, “if any here object to this union, speak now and be immediately executed for treason.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“You’re a magical artifact, not a second-rate jester.” “One adapts to one’s master,”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Before I could follow through on the threat, shadows curled around my wrist. The dagger slipped from my grasp. Kazimir shoved upward, reversing our positions so quickly my head spun. He settled between my thighs, his body pressing into mine. My breath caught, and I hated the little surge of heat that flickered all the way to my cheeks. “Now,” he said casually, “you’ve attempted to murder me, and I’ve attempted polite conversation. But make no mistake—I will have a bride, and that bride will be you.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“With a flick of his wrist, four more constructs rattled to life. My blood felt like ice water. “Kazimir⁠—” “Fight,” he said simply, and backed away. I gritted my teeth. “I really hate you right now.” “That’s fine,” he replied, crossing his arms. “Hate me, but stay alive.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“He counted off on his long fingers. “Also a rather disastrous attempt at self-writing poetry quills that only produced erotic sonnets about tentacles, but we aren’t supposed to talk about those anymore.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“She’d yet to realize I didn’t care for anyone else’s standards. I was the standard.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“I’ve been adapting my entire life. But adapt doesn’t mean surrender, Blackrose. You should learn the difference.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Lord Blackrose has enough on his plate, what with the wedding and the world domination and the perpetual brooding.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“The cleric lifted his arms. “I present to you Lord and Lady Blackrose! May their enemies tremble and their alliance bring glorious destruction!”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Nothing says “stabby ex-lover” like a woman who sleeps with sixteen daggers and names them all after previous conquests.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating [and Other War Crimes]

“Maybe she wouldn’t, if you told her the truth.” Vex eyed me. “No leveraging, no threats. Just honesty. Stop treating her like a prize and treat her like a partner.” I glared at her. “You make it sound so simple.” “It is simple,” she corrected, undaunted by my scowl. “Just not easy.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Consider it a promotion, then. From victim to wife.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Falling still felt terrifying. But maybe falling together wasn't falling at all. Maybe it was finally finding solid ground.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Feel free to join me whenever you’re ready. I promise I only bite by request.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“If the Heirloom demands another path like empathy or some such nonsense”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating [and Other War Crimes]

“So he did what weak men always do when faced with something stronger than themselves. He tried to break it.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“this how you pictured me?” I rasped, rocking my hips in a slow grind that made us both gasp. “I pictured you in every way imaginable,” he finally managed, “but what I want is you. Any way I can have you.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“CHARM HER WITH CHEMISTRY (SIDE‑EFFECT: IMMEDIATE NAPTIME)”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“I sleep naked because it’s comfortable.” I stuffed one arm under my head again and relaxed against the headboard. “Your discomfort is merely a bonus, like finding an extra cookie in the jar. Or an extra prisoner in the dungeon.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“Her eyes lit up like it was her birthday. “Are you... ticklish?” “Absolutely not,” I said with all the dignity I could muster. “The Dark Lord is not ticklish. That would be ridiculous.” A wicked grin spread across her face. “The Dark Lord is a liar.” Her fingers darted toward my ribs again, and I caught her wrist. “This is treason,” I warned, but she was already attacking with her other hand,”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“She gave me a sidelong look. “And who’s managing you?” “You’ve been doing a fine job,” I said truthfully. “My ego has never been so bruised and inflated at the same time.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“She glanced at me sharply. “People aren’t numbers.” “That’s precisely what Vex keeps arguing,” I said drily. “We track them by name now, so I suppose that’s progress.”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“I stalked across the war room’s wreckage and stopped in front of the ornate mirror. “Explain yourself,” I growled, slamming my palm on the carved frame. Blue runes flared beneath my fingers, and the surface of the glass rippled as though it were a pool of water. “My lord is displeased,” the mirror observed in a voice as flat as stale liquor. “How may this humble repository assist?” “The Heirloom failed to activate.” I gritted my teeth and felt a fresh wave of heat ripple up my spine. “I need to know why.” “Have you tried asking it nicely?”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)

“I nearly laughed at the absurdity. “Should I start practicing my villainous cackle, or is there an orientation handbook?”
― Tiffany Hunt, The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)