Stephen Carpenter > Quotes

“People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things - where they left their keys, or the name of an acquaintance - but no one ever talks about how much effort we put into forgetting. I am exhausted from the effort to forget... There are things that have to be forgotten if you want to go on living.”
― Stephen Carpenter, Killer

“because although she is very pretty, she is also very dead, and dead trumps pretty much everything.”
― Stephen Carpenter, Killer In The Hills

“Negative capability,” I say. “What’s that mean?” “Means being able to live with a bad situation—where you don’t know the outcome and things are uncertain—without worrying about making sense of it. It’s from the poet Keats.”
― Stephen Carpenter, Killer In The Hills

“How messed up is it when you feel like you belong in a place that fills you with a sense of dread?”
― Stephen Carpenter, Once Upon a Time is Now

“Michael OToole hated going to school, He wanted to stay home and play. So he lied to his dad and said he felt bad And stayed home from school one day. The very next day he decided to say That his stomach felt a bit queasy. He groaned and he winced ‘til his dad was convinced, And he said to himself, “This is easy!” At the end of the week, his dad kissed his cheek And said, “Son, you’ve missed too much school.” “But still I feel funny, and my nose is all runny,” Said the mischievous Michael OToole. Each day he’d complain of a new ache or pain, But his doctor could find nothing wrong. He said it was best to let Michael rest, Until he felt healthy and strong. Michael OToole never did get to school, So he never learned how to write— Or to read or to spell or do anything well, Which is sad, for he’s really quite bright. And now that he’s grown, he sits home alone ‘Cause there’s nothing he knows how to do. Don’t be a fool and stay home from school, Or the same thing could happen to you!”
― Stephen Carpenter, Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh

“My father gets quite mad at me; my mother gets upset— when they catch me watching our new television set. My father yells, “Turn that thing off!” Mom says, “It’s time to study.” I’d rather watch my favorite TV show with my best buddy. I sneak down after homework and turn the set on low. But when she sees me watching it, my mother yells out, “No!” Dad says, “If you don’t turn it off, I’ll hang it from a tree!” I rather doubt he’ll do it, ‘cause he watches more than me. He watches sports all weekend, and weekday evenings too, while munching chips and pretzels—the room looks like a zoo. So if he ever got the nerve to hang it from a tree, he’d spend a lot of time up there— watching it with me.”
― Stephen Carpenter, Kids Pick The Funniest Poems: Poems That Make Kids Laugh