Carsten Stroud > Quotes

“Go get us some burgers and coffee. I'll get on the horn to Mark Hopewell. I'll ask him for a list."

"Cheese or plain?"

"I'm on a diet."

"Plain then. And no fries?"

"I said I'm on a diet, not a death march.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“God made the universe out of nothing, and if you look real close, you can tell.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“Back at the scene of the rollover they had brought in the dogs, who got one snootful of all the guts and gore scattered all over the place and, after a whispered conference, expressed their regrets and respectfully declined to participate.”
― carsten stroud, The Homecoming

“He did not walk in beauty like the night. In fact, he slouched in warthog ugly like a Hangover Monday in Barstow,”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“The weed-whacker dad was helping his kid whack weeds. Dad was blitzed to the eyeballs on beer, and the kid was waving the weed whacker around like he was Luke Skywalker. It wasn’t going to end well.”
― Carsten Stroud, Niceville

“The Term “a Criminal Lawyer” Is the Opposite of an Oxymoron”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“Helga Sigrid was born in Reykjavik, Iceland, and still had an accent right out of Wagner. She was almost as tall as he was, and as Nordic as it was possible to get without disappearing altogether whenever the sun came out.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Reckoning

“His name was Mr. Quan and he was the concierge, which explained the black suit and the lavender shirt but not the oversized bow tie in chrome-yellow silk. Perhaps nothing could.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“Helga, we need to talk. There's something you've got to know about."

"You sound so serious, Lemon."

"I am, Helga. Deadly serious."

"Okay. I will be right over. Stay nude.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Reckoning

“See that?" said Lemon. "The car tracks turn off there."

"How do you know it's not the parks people on a golf cart thingie?"

"You don't golf, do you, Kate?"

"No, I'm too young to die of boredom.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“Money might be the root of all evil, but two million in stolen cash was mainly a hernia risk.”
― Carsten Stroud, Niceville

“Lemon Featherlight was an ex-Marine, a full-blood Mayaimi Indian, irritatingly handsome in a piratical sort of way, a condition even more grating because all the women loved him, and made even moreso because he was actually a decent guy, and nobody needed that.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Reckoning

“Smoles lived alone in this huge house for several reasons, the main one being that no one else wanted to live there with him. He had quite a time keeping staff and his dogs kept running away and he’d tried goldfish but they all ran away too—he could never figure out how, but he’d come home and find the bowls empty and the fish just plain gone.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“when it came to Missing Persons, Niceville had a stranger abduction rate five times higher than the national average.”
― Carsten Stroud, Niceville

“No one was in the car, but now that he was harboring a fugitive he had developed a level of situational awareness that bordered on painful.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“You're gonna have to explain all this shit to me, Frank. You don't just tell a guy he's dead and get him to throw a stiff into the river for you and then we fuck off for donuts.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Reckoning

“Excuse me while I jot that down in my Big Blue Book of Who Gives a Shit?”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“He walked around the counter and out into the great room, a large stone-walled space centered around a gigantic flat-screen TV and an entertainment system capable of reaching out into the stars and catching talk shows live from outer space, if outer space had talk shows, which so far it did not.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“Frankie and Delores had been very happy for many years. And then they met.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“A thousand feet above the crash site the flock of crows re-formed, drew into a tight cloud that took on the shape of a scythe as it flew low across the town, wheeling and soaring, filling the cool clear air with their brassy cries, and then it rose up in one coherent mass and disappeared into the east in the direction of Tallulah’s Wall.”
― Carsten Stroud, The Homecoming

“The weed-whacker dad was helping his kid whack weeds. Dad was blitzed to the eyebrows on beer, and the kid was waving the week whacker around like he was Luke Skywalker. It wasn't going to end well.”
― Carsten Stroud, Niceville

“She gets away from you, I am. She’s as big as a lynx. Look at”
― Carsten Stroud, Niceville