Michele Jaffe > Quotes

“YES. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL. LIKE A SUAVE THING. In fact, from here on, please forward my mail to 1 Suave Hill, Suave Boulevard, Suavieland, Planet of She's-So-Smooth-I-Can't-Believe-She's-Not-Butter.”
― Michele Jaffe, Kitty Kitty

“Thinking, not for the first time, that life should come with a trapdoor. Just a little exit hatch you could disappear through when you´d utterly and completely mortified yourself. Or when you had spontaneous zit eruptions.

“Good book?” he asked, taking it from her and reading the subtitle, “A Guide for Good Girls Who (Sometimes) Want to Be Bad,” out loud.

But life did not come with a trapdoor. ”
― Michele Jaffe, Prom Nights from Hell

“It's so nice to have sane friends.
I imagine.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Little Life Lesson 51: When selecting a member of a group to put on the Endangered Species List, it’s probably best not to pick the least popular person, because there is always a chance everyone will shrug and be like, "Um, okay. Hey, anyone want pizza?" and leave.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“that arctic blast you're feeling? it's the chill coming off my cold shoulder”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Are we running away from home?” I asked, giving voice to the question that had been on my mind for two days, ever since the lady at the Wok On restaurant asked where we were from and my mother lied.
My mother had laughed. I couldn’t see her face, but her laugh I could always conjure—rich, ringing, like bells calling you to a wedding. “No, silly goose. You can’t run away from home. It’s not home if you want to run away from it.” She paused to brush a strand of hair from my face. “You can only run away from a house. Home is something you run toward.”
― Michele Jaffe, Ghost Flower

“little life lesson 23: before making a snide comment about someone else's outfit, check to see if you're wearing knee boots with fringe. if you answer yes, drop it. just do.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“I didn't mean to interupt you if you were looking for your friends Miss--'
'Callihan,' but you can call my Jasmine. Or Jas.' Or Snookums. Honeybunch. Hotsie Totsie Cowgirl. My Little--
'It's nice to meet you Jasmine, I'm Jack.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“For some reason my father saw no problem with us pplaying "barbie and ken go to hawaii to save their marriage by picking up another couple for sexy good times," but if barbie and ken had gone to hawaii to "rescue another couple from a crazed kidnapper," that would have been wrong.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Impossible is just another word for 'loser who gives up.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“Because after the haze of not being kissed cleared I was forced to face the facts that:
1. Jack was a very bad guy.
2. Jack had threatened Fred.
3. Just thinking that he was going to kiss me made me tingly everywhere
4. In a way no other guy had
5. And that was without our mouths even touching
6. Which meant that
7. If they did
8. Wooohoo baby!
9. Except that it did not matter
10. At all
11. Because he was plotting against fred
12. And I was complicit in whatever he planned if I didn't tell Mr. Curtis
13. And I was trapped in a boat with a woman singing showtunes.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“i never thought of it before, but with your height and build, you are going to look SO CUTE in your straitjacket.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Don't let them make you doubt yourself. All the greatest visionaries in history have been told they were insane at some point.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“favor de dejar un especimim em este copa para el doctor
what?
she told you to pee in a cup, i think that means get lost”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“That kiss you gave me was the hottest kiss i've ever had. I pulled away because i was afraid i wouldn't be able to stop myself from ripping off your clothes. And that didn't seem like the right way to end a first date. I didn't want you to think that was all i was interested in."
She stared at him. There was silence again, but this time she didn't worry about how long it went on.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She said finally.
"I tried to, but every time i saw you afterward you disappeared. I got the feeling you were avoiding me."
"i didn't want things to be awkward."
"Yeah, there was nothing awkward about you hiding behind a plant when i came into the dining hall at lunch on wednesday."
"I wasn't hiding. I was, um, breathing. You know, oxygen. From the plant. Very oxygenated, that air is."
"Of course. I should have thought of that."
"It's a healthy thing. Not many people know about it.”
― Michele Jaffe, Prom Nights from Hell

“There's no such thing as lost; there's just adjusting your perspective.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“You talk more when you're nervous," he said, still standing close to her.
"No i don't. That's absurd. I'm just trying to explain to you-"
"Do i make you nervous?"
"No. I'm not nervous."
"You're trembling."
"I'm cold. I'm wearing practically zero clothes."
His glance went to her lips, then back to her eyes. "I noticed.”
― Michele Jaffe, Prom Nights from Hell

“So let me see-you've got a boyfriend, a not boyfriend, and a secret admirer.

" He shook his head at me. "Girl, no wonder someone tried to run you down.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“talking to yourself again, jas?
yes, it beats talking to you.
oh, time machine back to first grade much?
only to visit your brain.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“And we'd look at each other the way you do when you see someone on the street you think you recognize, but not quite. Someone you wish with all your heart were there but who is actually just a stranger. And you feel a kind of deep longing that hurts like a huge gash and your inability to fix it leaves you frustrated and angry and bone-deep lonely.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“Little Life Lesson 40: If you are lucky enough to vist the Fantasyland Diner, try to stay as long as possible because their desserts are no calorie, and also: the realy world sucks.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Which left me with the cheery knowledge that my father would wan tto spend time with me even if i were a cold, stiff corpse. not every daughter can say that, i bet!”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“I want to feel what pressures other people feel. Experience the world guided by someone else's moral compass. See and hear and taste with senses formed in a completely different mold than mine. I want to see what it's like to live someone else's lie...Someone else's life.”
― Michele Jaffe, Minders

“that was the plan?
part of it, you don't wan tot know the rest. i believe the word 'these dog colllars would make excellent restraints' were involved.
it was a brilliant idea. and we only got really cute well-made collars. this is my favorite. we had the tag engraved to say BUBBA.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty

“Oh well, it’s over for you. Call the code at 2:03 p.m.”

My eyes widened in shock. “That’s what they say when someone dies.”

“Exactly.” He nodded. “Woman have fallen in love with me after staring like that for only thirty seconds and
I think you just took a full minute. You’re doomed.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“I think it shows that sometimes for one person to keep breathing, something else has to stop." (hardcover page 37)”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“Popularity can be a real headache.”
― Michele Jaffe, Rosebush

“Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him.
"What?"
How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."
He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world."
"Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her.”
― Michele Jaffe, Prom Nights from Hell

“...Go live ITM."
ITM?"
In the Mo," Beth elaborated.”
― Michele Jaffe, Prom Nights from Hell

“ask yourself, what would babbi do?
waht
WWBD? You know, the famous line in the movie Bambi if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.”
― Michele Jaffe, Bad Kitty