Tedd Tripp > Quotes

“Give your children big truths they will grow into rather than light explanations they will grow out of.”
― Tedd Tripp

“The law of God is not easy for natural man. Its standard is high and cannot be achieved apart from God's supernatural grace. God's law teaches us our need of grace. When you fail to hold out God's standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.”
― Tedd Tripp

“The finest art of communication is not learning how to express your thoughts. It is learning how to draw out the thoughts of another.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“All behavior is linked to attitudes of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Some people think listening is what you do between opportunities to say something. During listening times they don’t listen at all. They are deciding what to say. Don’t be such a parent. The Proverbs remind you that the fool does not delight in understanding, but in airing his own opinion (Proverbs 18:2).”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“God calls his creatures to live under authority. He is our authority and has vested authority in people within the institutions he has established (home, church, state, and business). You must not be embarrassed to be authorities for your children.

You exercise authority as God's agent. You may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience. You must direct your children on God's behalf for their good.

Our culture tends toward the extreme poles on a continuum. In the area of authority, we tend either toward a crass kind of John Wayne authoritarianism or toward being a wimp. God calls you by His Word and his example to be authorities who are truly kind. God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants - authorities who lay down your lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority if God.

Jesus is an example of this. The One who commands you, the One who possesses all authority, came as a servant. He is a ruler who serves; he is also a servant who rules. He exercises sovereign authority that is kind - authority exercised on behalf of his subjects. In John 13, Jesus, who knew that the Father had put all things under his authority, put on a towel and washed the disciples' feet. As his people submit to his authority, they are empowered to live freely in the freedom of the gospel.

As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you. You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them.”
― Tedd Tripp

“The parent is the child's guide. This shepherding process helps a child to understand himself and the world in which he lives. The parent shepherds a child to assess himself and his responses. He shepherds the child to understand not just the "what" of the child's actions, but also the "why." As the shepherd, you want to help your child understand himself as a creature made by and for God. You cannot show him these things merely by instruction; you must lead him on a path of discovery. You must shepherd his thoughts, helping him to learn discernment and wisdom.”
― Tedd Tripp

“The most powerful way to keep your children from being attracted by the offers of camaraderie from the wicked is to make home an attractive place to be.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Recognizing that God has called you to function as his agent defines your task as a parent. Our culture has reduced parenting to providing care. Parents often see the task in these narrow terms. The child must have food, clothes, a bed, and some quality time.

In sharp contrast to such a weak view, God has called you to a more profound task than being only a care-provider. You shepherd your child in God's behalf. The task God has given you is not one that can be conveniently scheduled. It is a pervasive task. Training and shepherding are going on whenever you are with your children. Whether waking, walking, talking or resting, you must be involved in helping your child to understand life, himself, and his needs from a biblical perspective (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“You should encourage your children to see the needs of those around them.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Proverbs 12:15–16 says: “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“The parent can change his mind in the context of respectful appeal, but not in the presence of blatant rebellion.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Two mistakes are made in interacting with the shaping influences of life. The first is seeing shaping influences deterministically. It is the error of assuming that the child is a helpless victim of the circumstances in which he was raised. The second mistake is denial. It is the mistake of saying the child is unaffected by his early childhood experience. Passages such as Proverbs 29:21 illustrate the importance of childhood experience. Here we see that the servant pampered from youth is affected in a manner that brings grief in the end. Neither denial nor determinism is correct. You need to understand these shaping influences biblically. Such understanding will aid you in your task as parents.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“We cannot impress our children with the fame of God’s name if we are not impressed with him ourselves. If”
― Tedd Tripp, Instructing a Child's Heart

“As a parent, you have authority because God calls you to be an authority in your child's life. You have the authority to act on behalf of God. As a father or mother, you do not exercise rule over your jurisdiction, but over God's. You act at his command. You discharge a duty that he has given. You may not try to shape the lives of your children as pleases you, but as pleases him. All you do in your task as parents must be done from this point of view. You must undertake all your instruction, your care and nurture, your correction and discipline, because God has called you to. ... If you are God's agent in this task of providing essential training and instruction of the Lord, then you, too, are a person under authority. You and your child are in the same boat. You are both under God's authority. You have different roles, but the same Master.”
― Tedd Tripp

“I have spoken to many parents who feared they were producing little hypocrites who were proud and self-righteous. Hypocrisy and self-righteousness is the result of giving children a keepable law and telling them to be good. To the extent they are successful, they become like the Pharisees....The genius of Phariseeism was that it reduced the law to a keepable standard of externals that any self-disciplined person could do. In their pride and self-righteousness, they rejected Christ.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Moms and dads tell the children what to do. Kids tell their parents their wishes and dreams.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Proverbs 18:13 reminds us that “He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise becomes wise.” As a wise parent your objective is not simply to discuss, but to demonstrate the freshness and vitality of life lived in integrity toward God and your family.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“When we allow our children to become independent decision makers we give them a false idea of liberty and a mistaken notion about freedom. ”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“The only safe guide is the Bible. It is the revelation of a God who has infinite knowledge and can therefore give you absolute truth. God has given you a revelation that is robust and complete. It presents an accurate and comprehensive picture of children, parents, family life, values, training, nurture, and discipline - all you need to be equipped for the task of parenting.”
― Tedd Tripp

“The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“We give them material things and take delight in their delight in possessions. Then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving God.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“What is important in correction is not venting your feelings, anger or hurt; it is, rather, understanding the nature of the struggle that your child is having. What is important is understanding the “why” of what has been done or said.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Behavior is a manifestation of what is going on inside. What a person says or does mirrors the heart. “For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Correction is not displaying your anger at their offenses; it is rather reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“Let me overview a biblical vision for the parenting task. The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“A regular habit of talking together prepares the way for talking in strained situations. You will never have the hearts of your children if you talk with them only when something has gone wrong.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart

“los niños, por lo general, no se rebelan contra la autoridad que es verdaderamente bondadosa y abnegada.”
― Tedd Tripp, Cómo Pastorear el Corazón de tu Hijo

“The child’s problem is not an information deficit. His problem is that he is a sinner. There are things within the heart of the sweetest little baby that, allowed to blossom and grow to fruition, will bring about eventual destruction.”
― Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart