Jon Scieszka > Quotes

“Your brain is doing some great work when it's laughing.”
― Jon Scieszka, Funny Business

“And everyone lived happily, thought maybe not completely honestly, ever after. The End.”
― Jon Scieszka, The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales

“My face felt like it had just been rammed into a brick wall . . . because it had.”
― Jon Scieszka, Other Worlds

“You know that you are a writer if you are imaginative. You know that you are a writer if you are curious. You know that you are a writer if you are interested in the things and people of the world. You know that you are a writer if you hold a minie ball in your hand and wonder about its story. You know that you are a writer if you like the sound of rain on the roof. And if you want to tell someone else about your heart and how waiting for the thunder sometimes makes you feel, if you work to find the words to do that, then you are a writer. --Maureen O'Toople in the short story "Your Question for Author Here”
― Jon Scieszka Katie DiCamillo, Funny Business

“Minecraft”
― Jon Scieszka, Terrifying Tales

“(I’ll explain that in a moment),”
― Jon Scieszka, Funny Business

“The older you get, the more questions you get asked, and the more weary you become of answering the questions and the more elusive the answers--any answer, every answer--seem. --Maureen O'Toople in the short story "Your Question for Author Here”
― Jon Scieszka Katie DiCamillo, Funny Business

“Pepy was six feet tall, with shoulders”
― Jon Scieszka, Tut, Tut

“OFF THE COUCH! BAD KITTIES!”
― Jon Scieszka, Who Done It?

“Hang on, the cats are demanding their second breakfast. One second.”
― Jon Scieszka, Who Done It?

“use the Lord’s name in vain!”
― Jon Scieszka, Funny Business

“I, too, like the sound of the rain on the roof. I also like the lightning. It's like some great cosmic flashlight. It makes me think that someone is searching for me. And I don't mind the BAM of thunder because that makes me think that, perhaps, I have been found. That's the way a good book makes me feel, as if I have been found, understood, seen. --Maureen O'Toople in the short story "Your Question for Author Here”
― Jon Scieszka Katie DiCamillo

“bubble bath”
― Jon Scieszka, Terrifying Tales

“said Fred. I took the present.”
― Jon Scieszka, Knights of the Kitchen Table

“picnic table.”
― Jon Scieszka, Frank Einstein and the Space-Time Zipper (Frank Einstein series #6): Book Six

“Watson,” says Frank, “experiment time. Could you go into the kitchen and get one balloon, two packets of salt, three packets of pepper, and one plastic spoon?” “That sounds about as scientific as . . . my peashooter,” says Watson, heading for the kitchen as Frank and the robots finish cleaning up the lab. Watson returns with the experiment supplies. “I can’t wait to see what you make with this.” Frank rips open the salt and pepper packets and dumps everything into one pile on the table. He blows up the balloon. “Rub this on your head, Watson.” Watson rubs the balloon on his head. “Oh, this is much more scientific.” “Just watch,” says Frank. “Now put the balloon over the salt and pepper.” Watson moves the balloon. The positively charged, lighter pieces of pepper separate from the heavier pieces of salt and stick to the balloon. “Wireless,” says Frank. “And cheap. Now watch this.” Frank rubs the plastic spoon on Watson’s sweater. He turns the water on in the lab sink so that a small, steady stream flows out. “Observe.” Frank puts the spoon near the water column. “No way!” says Watson. “The water is bending toward the spoon!” Klink beeps, “In both cases, extra negative charge caused by gathering electrons . . . attracts positively charged pepper pieces and water stream.”
― Jon Scieszka, Frank Einstein and the Electro-Finger (Frank Einstein series #2): Book Two

“pig and an elephant”
― Jon Scieszka, Terrifying Tales

“sister”
― Jon Scieszka, Knights of the Kitchen Table

“Eeeee-eeee-eee oooo-oooo!”
― Jon Scieszka, Frank Einstein and the Electro-Finger (Frank Einstein series #2): Book Two

“To answer your next question: boxers. Plain blue boxers. No smiley faces. No hearts.”
― Jon Scieszka, Other Worlds

“was part of an alien race whose home planet is light-years away, but I had been in a giant metal “seed” filled with millions of alien spirits that was sent out thousands of light-years ago and had crashed into the earth a few hundred years ago and had been sitting underground waiting until now to come up through the tube that had always been directly under this bedroom, and all my alien friends and I, who were made of gas and who needed bodies to inhabit so we could take over this planet, were on our way to some giant stadium, where we were all going to get people to live inside, thanks to our leaders, who had taken over some bikers and the parents of the kid I was inside now, and we were going to enslave the rest of the human race and use them to do our dirty work, and oh no, this body is full of sulforaphane because the kid who owns it has been eating broccoli and I HAVE TO GET OUT OF IT NOW!”
― Jon Scieszka, Funny Business

“Telegram@velocemarco Buy Cocaine online in Wollongong”
― Jon Scieszka, 2095