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“I think it's romantic," she said mostly to Edward. "Cursed to live their lives in the shadows, to be together only under the cover of darkness... hiding their love from the sunlight."

"They're gay, honey," said Emma, "not vampires.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders
“Dear Lord,” began Randy, who paused for long enough that Tristan sneaked an eye open to look at him. His saw his mother’s cheek twitch with what he thought might be apprehension. “We are so grateful to be gathered here today with our family, and the family of our brother’s homosexual boyfriend, and our new little goth friend who has a gay dad, whatever the heck that is all about. We’d like to say we’re grateful this year for condoms, lube, and Ellen Degeneres, and for those guys on Queer Eye…”

Randall Evan Phillips!” his mother shouted.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders
“Yamane reached out a hand. "You've got something on your lip," he murmured, rubbing it gently with his thumb.
"What?" Rory froze
"Me," said Yamane, closing the distance for a kiss.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Drawn Together
“It’s like I have no idea who I am anymore,” said Tristan. “Who the hell was that?”

“I don’t know, but he’s like…the porn fairy…and I’m not letting him get away.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders
“I'm so sorry," said Kevin. "So selfish. I'm actually totally selfish, but I've been trying to cut back.”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Long Way Home
tags: humor
“Damn straight" said Connor. "So yeah, I look at you and I could suck start a leaf blower, or drill a Kevin-shaped body hole into the wall, like a cartoon.”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Long Way Home
“I grew up on a working ranch, and there was way too much to do.”

“You what? A working ranch? Like…a cowboy?”

Cam rolled his eyes. “I guess.”

“You’re a cowboy and a fireman?”

“Yes, Daniel,” Cam said dryly. “It’s almost as if I am half of the Village People, all rolled into one.”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Book Of Daniel
“But first, I want the pleasure of telling you that you are fired. I fire you. I fire you and all your relatives. I fire your ancestors and your descendants. I fire the very air you breathe and the ground you walk upon.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Stirring Up Trouble
tags: humor
“Ken brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. I'd been paying so much attention to Ken, I didn't know what happened during the game. I don't think anyone cared too much what the outcome was after Ken's at bat.

"Do you know who won?" I asked Cooper, who automatically translated into sign language for Shawn.

Shawn laughed his odd laugh and signed something back. He looked at Ken, who had an arm wrapped possessively around my waist.

Cooper grinned. "Shawn says it looks like you did, Jordie.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Physical Therapy
“What can I say? Love is blind,” said Rory, sitting down next to Yamane. “Yamane here is the acknowledged world master of queer fu.”
“Oh, no, you did not just say that.” Yamane shot him a sour look and drank the last of Rory’s beer.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Drawn Together
“Because just being
around you makes me so fucking happy, you airhead. I
like you. I want you. I see my unborn children in your
eyes—okay scratch that one. I swear to fuck I’m not
being flip here.” I sighed. “What my heart does
whenever you’re near isn’t just about chemistry Cam.
It’s like…stargazing. I feel insignificant and dazzled.
Hopeful yet completely unprepared.”
Z.A. Maxfield
“He was a reporter for The Adversary. It was his job to stalk people. He was one step above paparazzi and a couple below common variety garden snake."
- Jae-Sun Fields, pg. 28”
Z.A. Maxfield, ePistols at Dawn
“That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals.

Jacob to Ben describing JT”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder
“Well, now that I'm thoroughly and diligently queer, I expected more manly love-talk, you know? Not like Pretty Baby and feeding you grapes and stuff," he snorted.
"Uh, you mean like, hey you bastard I don't have a beer and nobody's sucking my dick, what's wrong with this picture?”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Long Way Home
tags: humor
“Maybe she was a little dark but she sort of sparkled with it.

Jacob about Muse”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder
“I didn't despise myself for being who I was, and I never would. I wouldn't allow anyone to make me feel bad about that. That was a line I could draw in the sand.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder
“I could lose my uterus and appendix today and miss my appendix more." - Kate”
Z.A. Maxfield, What Child Is This?
“Yamane leaned over until he was right in Rory's face. "Being with me isn't sweet and romantic. I like it messy, desperate, and sometimes even a little painful."
Rory digested this. He felt something unwind deep inside him. As if he were detached from it, he allowed it to uncoil slowly, building up a pressure of anger and frustration......
"My kidneys are bleeding, my ribs are broken, and I'm loaded with painkillers. If you Google messy and desperate, you'll find a picture of me.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Drawn Together
“ Breast feeding is a good thing. I promise you that's not what made you gay. "
" I know that, men did that. And penises.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Gasp!
“When we get home, I'll make you some soup or something."
"God. Don't be nice."
"All right." Jeff spoke softly into the darkness. "When we get home, I'll make some soup, and when you're not looking, I'll spit in it.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Gasp!
“Are you gay?” asked Michael with a sigh. “Is that your truth?” “Mmmhmm,” Tristan said into the night. “Yep. Totally gay. And I'm apparently a chick too, because here we are, talking instead of screwing.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders
“Whoever had covered our sidewalk with seals and signs apparently had an ax to grind, but I wasn’t worried. Whatever they wanted, I wasn’t about to let it get to me.

Nothing could feel quite so benign as a warm spring day in St. Nacho’s.

So… For some unknown—and probably unknowable—reason, the Witches of Westwick were trying to freak me out. I blew out a long, thin stream of smoke and grinned.

Cool. - Daniel Livingston”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Book Of Daniel
“Ask me again, Tristan read on his cell phone.
Ask what? he sent back.
Why I call you Sparky. Michael fumbled with the keys, not looking up.
Well, sure, why? Tristan sent back.
You light me up, came the answer, and Tristan's nimble fingers stopped on the keys. He stared hard at the small screen on his phone, the text message right there, waiting to see if he would send a reply. He just sat and stared till his phone turned off, unable to look up into the oh-so-blue eyes of the man who had sent it.”
Z.A. Maxfield
“Okay, i admit it," Connor looked away, "I'm a little disappointed."

"Excuse me?" snapped Kevin, sure he hadn't heard right.

"Well, now that I'm thoroughly and diligently queer, I expected more manly love-talk, you know? Not like Pretty Baby and feeding you graped and stuff," he snorted.

"Uh, you mean like, hey you bastard I don't have a beer and nobody's sucking my dick, what's wrong with this picture?"

"Oh," Connor climbed Kevin a little, his cock becoming interested again. "That's the spirit."

"Like, I've got handcuffs and I'm not afraid to yo use them, that kind of talk?"

"Oh, officer, show me your nightstick."

"I'm not even a cop anymore."

"No but oddly enough, I am." Connor grinned, holding Kevin's hands above his head. "And you there, are looking a little guilty."

"Oh man," Kevin bit his lip. "I just can't help myself, Officer Dougal. I've been such a bad, bad boy."

"Oh, well then, son, I guess you'll just have to spead 'em." He slid down beneath the covers, "This will require some in depth observation, I think."
Kevin's cock was getting hard again as Connor's tongue lapped all the way down on it then back up again, teasing the little slit in the top.

"Yep, just as I thought, blunt instrument. I'm afraid you'll have to come with me...”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Long Way Home
“Sorry," said Tristan. "No can do, I've used up all my infidelity tolerance minutes this month.”
Z.A. Maxfield
“I think I kind of like the idea of you all cold and wet."

"Oh right, I'll be at my best; no visible balls, and a dick that looks like a Chiclet..."

"I can fix that," laughed Connor.”
Z.A. Maxfield, The Long Way Home
“But so far he's stayed so deep in the closet, they're going to crown him king of Narnia.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder
tags: humor
“That?" I glanced back to the door where JT had disappeared. "That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Closeted Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals."
--Jacob "Yasha" Livingston”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder
“Tristan started the car, pulling carefully out onto the street now that the snow had begun to fall.

"You seemed so happy this last quarter," P.K. prompted.

"I was. I fell in love."

"And?"

"It didn't work out--isn't working out." Tristan shook his head. "I'm not ready."

"Ah," said P.K. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Tristan thought then that he was lucky; Jonathon and Daniel didn't know how to value a silence, but P.K. made it comfortable. He was glad he was here with P.K. and not alone in the unbearable silence of snow.”
Z.A. Maxfield, Crossing Borders
“I'm too old to be your adolescent experiment."
Rory called back, "I'm too old to be an experimenting adolescent."
Drawn Together”
Z.A. Maxfield

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St. Nacho's (St. Nacho's, #1) St. Nacho's
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