Helene Boudreau > Quotes

“Hey Jade?' He called out holding two packages of maxi pads.
I shook my head violently to stop Dad from talking, but from where he stood, I doubted he could see I was talking to a boy. A mildly annoying, but nonetheless cute boy.
'Do you want wings or no wings?'
It was official.
This was shaping up to be the Most. Embarrassing. Day. Ever.”
― Helene Boudreau, Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings

“I was in no mood to negotiate with the Tampon Terrorist.”
― Helene Boudreau, Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings

“Snacks at sleepovers are a must. Try this one next time your parents forget to stock the snack cupboard. Supplies: brown paper lunch bag stapler measuring cup microwave Ingredients: ¼ cup popcorn kernels 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp chocolate chips 2 tbsp butter or margarine pinch of salt Pour the popcorn kernels into a brown paper lunch bag then fold the top of the bag ¼ of an inch, twice. Secure two staples (trust me, I Googled it!) at the folded part to seal the bag shut. Lay the bag flat in the microwave and cook on HIGH for about 1:45 (one minute and forty-five seconds, people!). Each microwave is different, though, so you may need to adjust the time. Meanwhile, add the brown sugar, chocolate chips, butter/margarine and salt to a microwave-safe measuring cup. Cook on HIGH for about 15 seconds or until the gooey buttery-chocolaty mixture is melted. Mix well with a fork then pour it over the popcorn.”
― Helene Boudreau, Real Mermaids Don't Hold Their Breath

“Jade’s 5 - minute Chocolate Mug Cake — When Wigwags are in short supply, this is the quickest way I’ve found to chocolate bliss. First, get yourself the biggest microwaveable mug in the cupboard. In it put: - 4 tablespoons flour - 4 tablespoons sugar - 2 tablespoons cocoa Mix it well. Then add: - 1 egg Mix. Then add: - 3 tablespoons milk - 3 tablespoons oil Mix. Then add: - 3 tablespoons chocolate chips (NOT optional—at least as far as I’m concerned) - 1 capful of vanilla extract And…wait for it…MIX! Cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high). The cake will look like it’s going to overflow but don’t freak out! Let it cool for a bit (unless you want to burn your lips off) then ENJOY! NOTES & TIPS: Some say this can serve 2 but, yeah right; whatever. TAKE OUT THE SPOON before you microwave the mug. Don’t ask me why I know this…”
― Helene Boudreau, Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings

“Snacks at sleepovers are a must. Try this one next time your parents forget to stock the snack cupboard. Supplies: brown paper lunch bag stapler measuring cup microwave Ingredients: ¼ cup popcorn kernels 2 tbsp brown sugar 2 tbsp chocolate chips 2 tbsp butter or margarine pinch of salt Pour the popcorn kernels into a brown paper lunch bag then fold the top of the bag ¼ of an inch, twice. Secure two staples (trust me, I Googled it!) at the folded part to seal the bag shut. Lay the bag flat in the microwave and cook on HIGH for about 1:45 (one minute and forty-five seconds, people!). Each microwave is different, though, so you may need to adjust the time. Meanwhile, add the brown sugar, chocolate chips, butter/margarine and salt to a microwave-safe measuring cup. Cook on HIGH for about 15 seconds or until the gooey buttery-chocolaty mixture is melted. Mix well with a fork then pour it over the popcorn. Toss like a salad and ENJOY!”
― Helene Boudreau, Real Mermaids Don't Hold Their Breath