Stephen F. Arterburn > Quotes

“We are as sick as our secrets.”
― Stephen Arterburn

“People in pain have enough problems without some well-meaning folks trying to short-circuit the grief process by declaring that everything is a good event sent from God.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“In a toxic-faith system, loyalty is equated with blind faith and complete agreement with the leader.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“There isn't a person in this world who within a minute of your being with them, won't do or say something for which you can genuinely love them. The way they smile, they way they're polite to a waiter or an attendant, the way they keep everything so clean and neat - or the way they don't. Just the regular, everyday stuff about the way people live can be profoundly endearing. All you have to do is watch for it. Noting the unique, careful way they have of taking care of and going about their business is one of the best things about hanging out with people.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Being Christian: Exploring Where You, God, and Life Connect

“All problems are not results of sin; many are simply results of reality.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“If you are not going to pretend you are problem-free, at least show everyone you are deeply ashamed. 5. If you are not going to either pretend to be perfect or act ashamed, don’t show up.”
― Stephen Arterburn, More Jesus, Less Religion: Moving from Rules to Relationship

“    Even those of us who have given our heart to God face new temptations and decisions every day.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“The joy of dropping your heavy load is that it frees you to become the person that God and you—whether or not, at any given time of your life, you know it—most want you to be.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns

“The more responsibility you take for your choices, the less regret they’re likely to cause you.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns

“When a man practices biblical openness with other men, he moves from secrecy to candor, from isolation to connection, and from pretense to authenticity.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Being God's Man in Leading a Family: Real Life. Powerful Truth. For God's Men

“Show that person you love them; don’t just expect them to some-how know it.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns

“God has given us the freedom to make choices. Some choices will be better than others. The worst ones will cause us discomfort and pain, but the pain will not always be the result of God’s punishment for sin. When people play with fire, often they feel the heat, and some get burned. The pain is from the fire, not the punishment of God. Sin is like that. Pain is often a result of sin, but not necessarily a punishment for it.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“If you do develop a major problem, it is the result of your deep spiritual weakness. 3. Since this weakness makes the church look bad, the least you can do is pretend you do not have this problem.”
― Stephen Arterburn, More Jesus, Less Religion: Moving from Rules to Relationship

“Internal Bondage BIBLE READING: Mark 5:1-13 We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. When we are under the influence of our addiction, its hold may seem to have supernatural force. We may give up on living and throw ourself into self-destructive behaviors with reckless abandon. People may also give up on us. They may distance themselves from us, as though we were already dead. Whether our “insanity” is self-induced or has a more sinister origin, there is power available to restore us to sanity and wholeness.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“Pain is a gift from God to let us know that something is not right, that something in our life needs attention and fixing.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Healing Is a Choice: Ten Decisions That Will Transform Your Life & Ten Lies That Can Prevent You From Making Them

“Suicide is a permanent decision to a temporary feeling.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Understanding and Loving a Person with Bipolar Disorder: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Boundaries, and Show Compassion

“Outcasts can interpret reality for themselves. Even when their perception of reality contradicts that of hundreds or thousands of followers, they can clearly see the problems and press for solutions to those problems. Outcasts are unimpressed by position or personhood. They love God and want to protect his people and his institutions from spiritual fraud.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“Imagine yourself being happy, unburdened, and filled with joy. That is how God wants you to be. 'Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about.' (1 Peter 5:7 NLT).”
― Stephen Arterburn, Healing Is a Choice: 10 Decisions That Will Transform Your Life And 10 Lies That Can Prevent You from Making Them

“Misguided loyalty allows the delusions of the leader to grow and destroys the faith of the loyal.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“THE BIG PICTURE A. WISDOM: THE FOUNDATION OF RECOVERY (1:1-27) B. FAITH: THE SUBSTANCE OF RECOVERY (2:1-26) C. SELF-CONTROL: SETTING BOUNDARIES IN RECOVERY (3:1-18) D. HUMILITY: THE ATTITUDE OF RECOVERY (4:1-17) E. GIVING OF OURSELVES: THE EVIDENCE OF RECOVERY (5:1-20)”
― Stephen Arterburn, NLT Life Recovery Bible, Second Edition: Addiction Bible Tied to 12 Steps of Recovery for Help with Drugs, Alcohol, Personal Struggles - With Meeting Guide

“In a toxic system, the toxic minister sets himself or herself up as having a special destiny or mission that can be performed by no one else. This special anointing or calling is often nothing more than the pathological need to be valued or esteemed. It also takes some of the power that should be attributed to God and gives it to the toxic minister. It is a way to usurp God’s authority, and it is a way to discredit anyone who disagrees with the direction of the ministry.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“Others are more knowledgeable about the situation than I am. I must go along with their decisions. It is my place to be supportive, not to confront. My faith demands that I be obedient and loyal. These people are so nice, especially to me. Their motives must be pure. Perhaps I don’t really know the pastor well enough to discern whether he is right or wrong. Since they are closer to the situation, I will go along with them. He must be “special” with special needs. Who am I to rock the boat? I must be a faithful follower and not allow others to hurt the ministry.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing Over Painful Spiritual Abuse

“You certainly don’t “need” to evangelize. You can rest assured that God is perfectly capable of bringing people to himself in His own good time and in His own good way. That said, though, it’s very likely you will be galvanized by your own joy in the Lord to share that joy with others. It’s only natural to want to share something wonderful you’ve found with everyone around you – and especially with those in your life for whom you have affection or care about. And if that life-enhancing, life-saving something you’ve found is absolutely free to anyone who will but ask for it, well.. Well then it’s a wonder, isn’t it, that every bible sold doesn’t come with a bullhorn. The question of exactly when and how it’s best for you to personally share your faith with others is one that the Holy Spirit stands ever ready to help you answer. Primarily, it’s a matter of simply paying attention to the signals you get from non-christians about the degree to which they’re ready to have a conversation in which it would be natural to talk about the value and nature of personal beliefs. Forcing that conversation is unlikely to prove productive to you or to the other person. You don’t want to alienate someone by too zealously pushing Christ on them before they’re optn to that sort of interaction with you.

The best rule of thumb when wondering how and when you should go about evangelizing is to just be yourself and relax about it. When it’s time to talk to someone about Jesus, Jesus by His spirit will let you know. Trust in this. God’s ultimate purpose is to bring every person on earth to the realization that his son died so they might have eternal life. And as a Christian you do have a role in that inspiring mission. Trust God to let you know when it’s time for you to step into it – how and with whom.”
― stephen arterburn , Being Christian: Exploring Where You, God, and Life Connect

“    7So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“    Recognizing our internal weaknesses is the first step toward recovery. When we look beyond ourself, we see that there are others who have struggled with an addiction and recovered. We know that they, too, were unable to heal themselves, yet they now live free of addictive behaviors. We conclude that there must be a greater Power that helped them. Since we can see the similarities between their struggles and our own, we come to believe that our powerful God can restore us to sanity.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“For some of us faith comes easily. For others, especially if we have experienced betrayal, it may be more difficult. Sometimes we must exhaust all of our own resources in trying to overcome our addictive “disease” before we will risk believing in a higher Power.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“13Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“3David and his men and their families settled there with Achish at Gath. David brought his two wives along with him—Ahinoam from Jezreel and Abigail, Nabal’s widow from Carmel.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Every Man's Bible NLT

“   23Pride ends in humiliation,         while humility brings honor.”
― Stephen Arterburn, The Life Recovery Bible NLT

“Making peace with someone is not a goal. It’s a journey.”
― Stephen Arterburn, Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns