Dave Franklin > Quotes

“Ideally, alcohol should be consumed in private. I dislike going to the pub, becoming jolly and ending up talking to people I would rather see injected with bleach.”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“Perhaps you don't have to do anything wrong for someone to reject you.”
― Dave Franklin

“Are you ready to try to tame the Wrath?”
― Dave Franklin, Girls Like Funny Boys

“Sometimes she despaired at other women - their feebleness, their triviality, the nonsense they absorbed. So many were like little doe-eyed deer waiting to be chased, clueless with a different mindset and a bit of effort they could be the predators.”
― Dave Franklin, Girls Like Funny Boys

“I seem to feel ashamed of going out and getting merry - I find it oddly humiliating - but I'm quite happy to sit here like some dipsomaniac and become maudlin. For me, that is cool behaviour. Once you realise you're going to be on your own for the next few decades, it seems as pleasurable a way as any to pass the years.”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“Perthites were like the Swan River's jellyfish - small pink blobs adrift in a warm environment.”
― Dave Franklin, Manic Streets of Perth: Anthology

“No one liked to get too upset in WA's capital, a genuine hindrance to Perth forging its own identity. Less than two hundred years old, its unremarkable history and unceasing niceness had combined to apparently stupify its populace. Perth was at least two hours behind the Eastern states but everyone knew it was really dragging behind by years.”
― Dave Franklin, Manic Streets of Perth: Anthology

“God, he loved being a bloke. He loved it so much. He wouldn't be a woman for all the money in the world.”
― Dave Franklin, Manic Streets of Perth: Anthology

“When it comes to men, women will insist that a lunge in their direction is not always welcome, and yet they cannot forgive a man who does not even attempt a sexual pursuit. Strange creatures, aren't they?”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“Australia! Australians! Surely it's still full of Magwitch-types, lumbering oafs with shaven pates and broken noses on the run from whatever law there is, chucking kangaroo heads on the barbie as they read their awful bush poetry.”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“Going out? It seems so twentieth century. Do people really still do such a thing?”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“Admit it: you live in a straitjacket called society that’s chillingly adroit at forcing you to behave. You do what’s expected, right? You rarely, if ever, cross that line. You play your part because you’re a liar and an actor just like all those people around you are liars and actors. That’s why alcohol is such a revealing drug: it removes the straitjacket. Drunks don’t act. No one controls them. Suddenly they’re showing who they are, what’s really inside. Why do you think they make us feel so uncomfortable as we stare at them with our Oscar-worthy poise?”
― Dave Franklin, Straitjacket Blues and Other Stories of Unease

“Funny how you never forget the girls from school, huh?”
― Dave Franklin, Girls Like Funny Boys

“Impossible to say why childhood joy ends with such finality in so many things.”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“I'd rather just slip on my halo of flies and stay here, if you don't mind.”
― Dave Franklin, English Toss on Planet Andong

“When you think about it, being trained by a Gladiator is almost as good as being trained by the SAS.”
― Dave Franklin, Girls Like Funny Boys

“Fe fi fo fum, I'll put you on your bum!”
― Dave Franklin, Girls Like Funny Boys

“Dear reader, I guess there’s a chance – just the tiniest chance – that I might hunt you down. Beforehand I’d always let such a frivolous impulse fade but these days – and I am not proud of this – the pictures lurking in the corners of my mind are gaining in colour, detail and intensity. I fight them, I really do, but the scenario seems to have a life of its own, slowly taking shape and maybe dreaming of the day it gets unleashed into the real world. Becomes flesh and blood, if you like. And despite my very best efforts at restraint, I’m afraid I’ve already started... planning. You know, plotting a bit. Gathering details about your movements and habits. That sort of thing. And if I’m pushed, I might admit to lingering on the finer points of your demise, perhaps even gorging on the sight of your stricken face as I finally take centre stage in your life. You see, I guess I’m just tired of your lack of appreciation. Let’s face it, I’m not exactly the first name on your Christmas card list. I’m still waiting for you to swing by for a cuppa and a few kind words. Hey, a simple email would have been enough. Don’t you know how precious a bit of encouragement can be? And here’s the rub: for as long as I can remember I have been on my knees in front of you only to be treated like the invisible man. You’ve repeatedly ignored my imploring face and open arms, although occasionally you’ve stopped and dallied, causing my heart to skitter wildly. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to be noticed. It’s so... nourishing. After all, a flower can’t bloom in the dark. But then it dawns on me that you’re not committed to our fledgling relationship. In fact, it’s just a flirtation and soon you’ll be skipping on your merry way. Whatever trifling affection you have shown, it’s clear you’ll never bang the drum for little old me. And don’t think I don’t know about the others. The ones you fawn over. Just tell me – why are you so in thrall with their rampant mediocrity? Hell, maybe they’ve somehow infected you, skewed your take on things and made you unable to sort the wheat from the chaff. Perhaps I should offer condolences but the fact remains that kneeling before you with my heart in my hands only seems to result in you jumping into bed with them. Do you not understand how much love I’ve lavished on you? Call me tetchy, but some days you simply seem unworthy of my great sacrifice. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. All is not lost. For here we are again meeting as equals and this time I know I have your attention. I can only hope you have lost the desire to bait me, or God forbid, spit in my face. So help me. Accept my tender embrace. Or one day, dear reader, you might find the invisible man taking shape right in front of your disbelieving eyes. And you’d only have yourself to blame.”
― Dave Franklin, The Goodreads Killer

“No one wants to fuck a critic.”
― Dave Franklin, The Goodreads Killer