Lisa M. Ross > Quotes

“Meaning hides in repetition: We do this every day or every week because it matters. We are connected by this thing we do together. We matter to one another. In the tapestry of childhood, what stands out is not the splashy, blow-out trip to Disneyland but the common threads that run throughout and repeat: the family dinners, nature walks, reading together at bedtime (with a hot water bottle at our feet on winter evenings), Saturday morning pancakes.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Relationships are forged in pauses”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Yet simplification is not just about taking things away. It is about making room, creating space in your life, your intentions, and your heart.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“What I have noticed, and what I feel compelled to mention, is that the experiential scale of parenting—anxiety versus joy—is tied to the “scale of involvement” between the spouses. In my experience, it is more commonly the case that the mother is overinvolved. What I have seen, though, is that when the father steps up, many mothers are able to take a welcome step back. These adjustments take time, as habits of work and responsibilities are ingrained, but the results are usually well worth the effort. A better balance of involvement benefits the partnership. It also simplifies parental involvement in the children’s lives, reducing anxiety as the duties and concerns of parenting are spread on a wider, stronger base.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Children are such tactile beings. They live so fully by their senses that if they see something, they will also want to touch it, smell it, possibly eat it, maybe throw it, feel what it feels like on their heads, listen to it, sort it, and probably submerge it in water. This is entirely natural. Strap on their pith helmets; they’re exploring the world. But imagine the sensory overload that can happen for a child when every surface, every drawer and closet is filled with stuff? So many choices and so much stimuli rob them of time and attention. Too much stuff deprives kids of leisure, and the ability to explore their worlds deeply.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“So many choices and so much stimuli rob them of time and attention. Too much stuff deprives kids of leisure, and the ability to explore their worlds deeply.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Nothing happens unless first a dream…”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“When we refute the notion that our child’s development is a race we have to win, and that their imagination is for sale, we step off a consumer treadmill.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Before you say something, ask yourself these three questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“In order to act out of hope rather than fear, out of reverence for childhood rather than fear of our times, simplification begins with dreams. Carl Sandburg once said, “Nothing happens unless first a dream.” This is no exception. Your dreams for your family will be your motivation; they’ll act as your wings throughout the process.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“When your child seems to deserve affection least, that’s when they need it most.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“but the kind Ralph Waldo Emerson described: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.”)”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Imagine all of your children’s toys in a mountain at the center of their room. You’ve rounded up all of the outpost piles wherever they gather and grow throughout the house.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“when something is really “up,” when they don’t feel right, you will notice and respond. when they are overwhelmed—physically or emotionally—normal routines will be suspended. when their well-being is threatened, they will be brought close, be watched, and be cared for. when they are not well, they will be afforded the time and ease to recover their equilibrium. your love will accommodate, and look beyond, their less-than-best selves. they are deeply known and instinctively cared for.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“does the two-dimensional”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Acting out of anxiety doesn’t usually lead to long-term efforts, or changes, much less large-scale transformations”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“When I first met Carla, there was great mistrust in her eyes. I had come for a visit, unexpectedly, and as her mother introduced us, Carla turned a steely gaze my way. She was sitting on the floor, wrapping paper and shiny fabric in a pile next to her. As we chatted, I could see that this bright almost-six-year-old was very much in control of the home. Just what, her eyes demanded, was I doing there, anyway”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“As parents, we must not become “harmony addicted.” It’s tempting to hope that every day might be a sort of “rainbow experience” for our children. Wouldn’t that be nice? If only we could suspend them in a sort of happiness bubble.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“In this way, we make a molehill out of a mountain, leaving for the child a mix of toys that they enjoy most consistently, and for the longest periods of time. Rarely are these favorites complex, or motorized; rarely do they “do” anything. The toys that are too detailed or complicated—too “fixed”—can rob a child of an imaginative experience. Dear nighttime toys can never disappear. Even if they are totally hideous, dear nighttime toys are nonnegotiable. The remaining toys have to include a mixture of active toys: building, digging, construction toys; and more receptive toys, such as dolls and stuffed animals, toys that just receive. There can also be creative materials, such as paints, crayons, and some modeling substances, such as beeswax or clay. The toys with staying power are usually—not always, but pretty consistently—figures of some sort, either dolls or knights or stuffed animals; building toys; and scenes or dwellings of some sort, into which the child loves to project his or her figures, and thus themselves.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Mental and emotional clarification and improvement of motor skills (a kind of mental “practicing” of movements) take place as we sleep, and some feel sleep helps maintain homeostasis in the brain.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Before you say something, ask yourself these three questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? True”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“But every stage in a family’s evolution can benefit from a little more space and grace, a little less speed and clutter.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Carl Jung said that children do not distinguish between ritual and reality. In the world of childhood, toys are ritual objects with powerful meaning and resonance. To a child, a mountain of toys is more than something to trip over. It’s a topographical map of their emerging worldview. The mountain, casting a large symbolic shadow, means “I can choose this toy, or that, or this one way down here, or that: They are all mine! But there are so many that none of them have value. I must want something else!” This worldview shapes their emotional landscape as well; children given so very many choices learn to undervalue them all, and hold out—always—for whatever elusive thing isn’t offered. “More!” Their feelings of power, from having so much authority and so many choices, mask a larger sense of vulnerability.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“play stages: parallel (“I play this while you play that”), cooperative or crossover (“If we use your bricks and mine we can build a bigger house”), sociodramatic (“I’ll be the witch and you can be the little boy in the woods”), and game play (“Let’s say that if someone touches the line, they’re out”).”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Parents and I discuss the four levels of simplification: the environment, rhythm, schedules, and filtering out the adult world.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Weizenbaum”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“A baby’s first lullaby is its mother’s heartbeat in the womb, a powerful rhythm that we try to re-create with gentle sounds and rocking in their first weeks, months, and even years. You can always recognize a new mother or father, can’t you, even when they’re away from their baby? They’re the ones in the grocery store line, or at the bus stop, gently (and unconsciously) swaying back and forth. Whether babes in arms or toddlers on their fathers’ knees, little ones crave that motion … the rocking motion. The tempo is echoed in their breath, the beating of their hearts. Rocking is also the surest path to sleep, a rhythmic road of harmony and calm.”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. —HENRY DAVID THOREAU”
― Lisa M. Ross, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids