Geoff Tibballs > Quotes

“All this fuss about sleeping together.For physical pleasure, I'd sooner go to my dentist any day.”
― Geoff Tibballs, The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

“wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.”
― Geoff Tibballs, Crazy Sh*t Old People Say

“Did you hear about the man who had a job at the zoo circumcising elephants? The wages were poor, but the tips were huge.”
― Geoff Tibballs, 1001 One-Liners: Jokes for every occasion and on every subject – puns, dad jokes and witty asides for weddings, speeches and presentations: Jokes and ... for Weddings, Speeches and Pr

“wicker chair. – Erma Bombeck ***”
― Geoff Tibballs, 1001 One-Liners: Jokes for every occasion and on every subject – puns, dad jokes and witty asides for weddings, speeches and presentations: Jokes and ... for Weddings, Speeches and Pr

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family”
― Geoff Tibballs, The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

“What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.”
― Geoff Tibballs, The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes

“WHO THE HELL'S AT THE DOOR?
When you are young your favourite time for sex are often first thing in the morning or last thing at night,but as you get older your body clock changes.You can't function in the morning until you have had breakfast and at night you are so tired at the end of a long day that you just want to go to sleep.On your agenda,sex comes somewhere below running a marathon or wrestling an alligator.”
― Geoff Tibballs, The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

“Sorry, but you’re mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.”
― Geoff Tibballs, Crazy Sh*t Old People Say

“Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge your existence.”
― Geoff Tibballs, The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life