Jutta Profijt > Quotes

“Marlene’s praise went down like a cold beer after a greasy burger.

She could sense this. “You’re not at all as bad as you pretend,” she said.

Careful... Now she was talking crap, that much was clear. I needed to change the topic.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Next Door

“It was time for her to finally get that all of that sanctimonious drivel is just the opiate of the masses. Ha, even I was educated enough to know that quote. From Gandhi.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Next Door

“...definitely dramadies [are out], too. To me, if the writer can’t make up his mind if he’s doing drama or comedy, then he should switch to making paper airplanes until he know what he wants.”
― Jutta Profijt, Kühlfach zu vermieten

“I think museums are dead boring. I don't like most of the pictures on their walls. With modern pieces you never know if it's a sandwich on the floor half-eaten by some animals, a forgotten hors d'oeuvre -- or Art Some great artist paints shit pictures that I could've surpassed in nursery school and then hangs them upside down on the wall. I mean, what about that involves Art?”
― Jutta Profijt, Kühlfach zu vermieten

“The most popular game is Cholesterol Canasta, where the plague patients, vivisection victims, and ambulant biohazard bags try to one-up each other with their hellish blood panels and urine tests. For a long time, the undisputed winner was a two-hundred-and-fifty-kilo diabetic with renal insufficiency, fatty liver disease, and food poisoning. The only infection he didn’t have was HIV..”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Next Door

“And he was murdered?"...
"Stabbed"...
"And this has something to do with the strange drugs?"
...Personally, I'd never heard of a package insert that listed "fatal stabbing injuries" under a drug's side effects.”
― Jutta Profijt, Kühlfach zu vermieten

“letter as a mirror image—then you’ll come across as interesting,” Troll”
― Jutta Profijt, Dust Angel

“If we could manage to reduce hostile societal attitudes toward sex workers even more so they can publicly stand up for their interests just like the huge steelworkers’ union, then we will have taken a giant step forward toward the safety and self-determination of women.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Next Door

“They’re so dumb they put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on top of their phones during their lunch breaks and wonder why the phone still rings.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Four

“The Renault Kangoo van was wedged between the narrow piers under the bridge like a boil in a butt crack, but the driver’s seat was empty.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer: Do Not Enter!

“Noch nie hatte ich einen Mann getroffen, der um die geheime Ich-bringe-die-Welt-wieder-in-Ordnung-Kraft von Milchreis wusste.”
― Jutta Profijt, Blogging Queen

“But I had gotten stuck with a trash can driver. A duffle coat wearer. Tea drinker. Bean counter. City map collector. Presumably also a muesli eater, gravesite tender, and sock darner. What had I done to deserve this?”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Four

“Telegram@velocemarco Buy Cocaine online in Monaco”
― Jutta Profijt

“Little sisters are like measles, mumps, or scarlet fever. In the early stages no one notices them, and then ultimately you end up in bed with them.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Four

“I’ve never understood women’s response to temperature. The second you’re nice and warm under the covers, they slide their ice-cold feet over onto your calves, and presumably after holding an ice cube for the five hours before bedtime they lay their hands on your stomach. But if you then even remotely flinch, they start griping that men just cannot cuddle. Newsflash: men can cuddle. They even want to. Just not with ice cubes.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Four

“If I had suspected that this day would determine the course of the rest of my life, I’d obviously have stayed in bed.”
― Jutta Profijt, Morgue Drawer Four