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“Well, in the words of Keith Sweat, whatever you got, you should ‘make it last forever,”
― 12 Honeymoons
― 12 Honeymoons
“no matter who you are or where you come from, everyone is born with the power to change”
― 12 Honeymoons
― 12 Honeymoons
“You are a thoughtless person with no consideration for the feelings of others. Your best quality is someday you’re gonna die. If you were a planet in the solar system among millions of beautiful heavenly bodies, you’d still choose to revolve around yourself. If every day was Christmas, you’d give yourself 366 gifts, two on your birthday. If you thought about looking into your soul to become a better person, you’d change your mind because there’s no mirror attached and you couldn’t admire your face or flexed muscles. If rulers could measure a man’s character, you’d be a centimeter. And if you ever again decide to call me a name, next time try Liz.”
― Worst Impressions
― Worst Impressions
“I'm an FBI agent.” “No, seriously, what do you do?” “I'm serious. I'm an FBI agent, been with the Bureau for twelve years.” “Is”
― The Bum Magnet
― The Bum Magnet
“Just because things don’t work out the way you hope, doesn’t mean they haven’t worked out in your favor.”
― The Bum Magnet
― The Bum Magnet
“he must be giving them...such as don’t use your vagina (unless requested by a paying congressman) and don’t cheat on your spouse (unless you can afford to keep your side-piece quiet). Or best of all—you are the 47%, the bottom of the barrel. Aim low. And vote for me so I can make sure you stay there.”
― 12 Honeymoons
― 12 Honeymoons
“And lastly, the pictures of George Bush and Mitt Romney on his wall sent up flaming red flags. Ugh. A black republican?”
― 12 Honeymoons
― 12 Honeymoons
“According to my calculatons, twenty-five was approximately fourteen in man years.”
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