Emmett Spain > Quotes

“I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y?”
― Emmett Spain, Old Haunts: A London City Novel

“I looked like a corpse, and not a particularly fresh corpse at that.”
― Emmett Spain, Old Haunts: A London City Novel

“From his vantage point on the window sill, The Dude cocked a rear leg back over his head and proceeded to lick at his private parts with a thoroughness that would make a lesser man blush. I shook my head at the sight and mumbled, “Show off,” in the animal’s general direction. For a moment the tiny kitten hesitated, leg still extended behind its head, face still over its crotch. It narrowed its eyes at me, let out a displeased sound, then promptly got back to work.

I suppose there are worse things than being a cat.”
― Emmett Spain, Old Haunts: A London City Novel

“When Kirsten carried out a portable defibrillator the size of a breadbox, I very nearly went into cardiac arrest. Which, let’s face it, would probably fall under the category of ‘most ironic thing ever’.”
― Emmett Spain, Old Haunts: A London City Novel

“I’m ashamed to say that getting behind the wheel of Dirk’s shiny Penismobile was actually a lot of fun.”
― Emmett Spain, Old Haunts: A London City Novel