J.A. Saare > Quotes

“Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Rhiannon's Law #68: If you're going to fly by the seat of your pants, rock out with your cock out. The landing is going to hurt either way, and you might as well make an impression when you nail it.”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“You know.” My voice was laced with sarcasm. “I love being reminded of just how f*cked up people find my company. One minute, I’m asked to be more loving and sweet. In fact, someone once told me it was downright adorable. But when I actually give the public what they want, they think I’m suffering from a chemical imbalance.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Allow yourself to fall. I’ll catch you.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Just because I’m on the lookout for an ass kicking doesn’t mean I’m actively seeking one out. It’s called covering all your bases.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Listen,” I sighed and reached for my plastic bottle. “I want to get this sh!t over and done. Can we strive to obtain that goal? I have a meaningless existence, and I can’t put that kind of action on hold indefinitely”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“Rhiannon's Law #37: Don't get so high and mighty, God will only reward that arrogance with a huge bitch slap back to reality.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you
today.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“I nodded in approval, turned around and opened the door, and stepped into the hall. I walked past the receptionist, smiling at her shocked face when she told me in a superficial voice to have a nice day, and I gave her a parting gift—my middle finger.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Rule number one that all girls must learn. If you’re told to lie down on the floor during a robbery or to
step inside a waiting car during a kidnapping, you’re not doing yourself any favors by cooperating. You’re
essentially handing the bastards a loaded gun and giving them express permission to shoot you in the head.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Rhiannon's Law #14: There is a reason the truth hurts. When you cease to feel the sting, it means you've stopped caring. And damn, wouldn't that be a total fucking waste?”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“Stalking isn't cool unless you're an Edward.”
― J.A. Saare, The Ripple Effect

“Rhiannon's Law #28: If you're going to fuck up, be sure to fuck up good and proper. Nothing makes failure acceptable, so you might as well make your misery count.”
― J. A. Saare

“It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to
Hannah Montana.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“If her death taught me anything, it’s this. Cherish the time you have. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Right now is all we are promised.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Don’t tell me,” I snickered. “You’re in a club that gathers together like raving Trekkies to share secrets of the afterlife. I bet you even have an Enigma CD you crank up to get in the mood.” “Don’t be silly.” His face lit up with an enormous grin. “We listen to Enya, not Enigma.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Stop a knife? You're serious."

"As a heart attack."

"You are something else."

I couldn't tell if he was giving me a compliment or a veiled insult. "I try to be an individual. It's all the rage.”
― J.A. Saare, The Ripple Effect

“Rhiannon's Law #63: Fake it until you make it. You might not know what the fuck you're doing, but that doesn't mean everyone else is aware of your inaptitude. When in doubt, hold your head high and pretend you have a clue.”
― J.A. Saare, The Ripple Effect

“My mind was no longer functioning on a rational level. For fuck's sake, who needed rational when they boarded a train to insanity? All that was missing were the Oompa Loompas and Willy-fucking-Wonka.”
― J.A. Saare, The Ripple Effect

“You have a lot to answer for, love. I can't decide if I want to take you to my bed and bust that perfect ass of yours or rip off your clothing and take you here and now against the wall.”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“I arrived to work on the wrong foot. I was jumpy and agitated, constantly watching the doors. A loud fart would have sent me skyrocketing into orbit.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“Who needs immortal strength when you've got weapons of mass destruction?”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“Come with me," he said quietly and extended his hand.
"Nuh-uh." I shook my head, scooting in the opposite direction . "I don't think so, All American Hero.”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing.”
― J.A. Saare, The Renfield Syndrome

“Multitask? What do I look like, a fucking secretary?” My temper flared before I could bite it back. Erica wasn’t the only one with a big mouth. I was constantly in danger of writing checks my ass couldn’t cash, the bearer of a lifelong disease of potty mouth that no amount of soap in this world could properly cleanse.”
― J.A. Saare, Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

“It is like a beautiful sunset you see once in your life, one you swear you will never forget as long as you live. And you never do forget, but you never have a reason to restore the memory—so it remains hidden inside. Until one day, for no apparent reason, you remember that sunset. You recall the way your skin felt as the sun brushed across it, the way the colors painted the sky. You wonder why it took you so long to go back to that place again, swearing you won't take so long next time. Only you do forget the memory and you may or may not ever relive it again.”
― J.A. Saare, Crimson Moon

“Our bodies are stronger and faster, but our hearts are just as fragile, remember that.”
― J.A. Saare, Crimson Moon