Alexei Sayle > Quotes

“Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.”
― Alexei Sayle, Barcelona Plates

“Also a fan of being inscrutable, Franco once said, 'You are a the slave of what you say and the master of what you don't say.' He might have added that that approach isn't always guaranteed to work. If you attempt, for example, to be sphinx-like, mysterious and enigmatic when you get to the front of a long queue at the chip shop, you do risk being punched quite hard in the back of the head.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“...I learned the lesson that, even after the revolution, cool, handsome and confident is always going to beat weird-looking and needy.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“The public were not to be consulted on whether they wished to have their cities and towns torn down and rebuilt in an entirely original and untested style with no connection to what had gone before.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“Never again would the ignorant masses want to take up arms against other nations, or indulge in racism or xenophobia, because instead they had a nice flat with a balcony and underfloor heating.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“All right, class, now let’s bow our heads in prayer and thank God for this milk we’re drinking.’ At which point I stood up and said, ‘No, Miss Wilson, I think you’ll find that the milk comes to us via the Milk Marketing Board, a public body set up in 1933 to control the production, pricing and distribution of milk and other dairy products within the UK. It has nothing to do with the intervention of some questionable divine entity.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“In our neighbourhood you believed the same things as everybody else, you wore the same clothes as everybody else and you planned to go into the same job as your father.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“A Marxist historian would say that industries grew up and remained in an area because there was a plentiful supply of a certain necessary item. The existence of coal and steel in the Midlands led to the engineering industry being based there, a humid climate meant cotton was woven in Lancashire, and finance was located in the City of London because of a plentiful supply of hard-hearted and cruel individuals.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“I would have thought it was the sort of house a vampire lived in if I hadn’t been aware that vampire stories were superstitious legends designed to subjugate the enslaved rural classes into unquestioning obedience of feudal autocracy.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework

“It's absurd to see people who have spent a lifetime standing against racism, being accused of racism, by racists.”
― Alexei Sayle

“football clubs could, at times, be heartless and calculating and weren’t to be relied on, unless you wanted your heart broken.”
― Alexei Sayle, Stalin Ate My Homework