Jeni Stepanek > Quotes

“From there my friendship with Sandy grew. It wasn't just that we were both studying for advanced degrees, and it wasn't just that we both had less than ideal marriages that eventually ended in complicated divorce cases. For me it was that, unlike so many other people, Sandy didn't try to swoop in and make things all better like a hero, and she didn't run when my children died.
It's extremely lonely being the mother of dying children. You can't share any of the normal milestones, the normal sense of community with other mothers. And people either want to solve the problem, which they can't or they want to leave when the situation becomes too difficult. It's not out of callousness. It's out of pain; watching children die is hard. But Sandy tried to neither fix nor flee; she just wanted to be my friend. And she helped in very real ways.”
― Jeni Stepanek, Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs

“When Shelly brought the tapes to Chicago, she managed to convince the Oprah Winfrey Show staff that Mattie's segment needed to be more than how his disability felt. She told them she had been struck by how an eleven-year-old placed a higher priority on being a father someday and on relationships than on guns, cars, or the typical fantasies of a young boy. She that she went to our apartment to get "What is it like to suffer, to have your dying wishes granted?" and came back with "What is it like to be a peacemaker?”
― Jeni Stepanek, Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs