Barbara Feldon > Quotes

“Try to understand the underlying causes of mentally attacking yourself. This might be done with a therapist, a friend or by self-examination in a journal. The loss of a reassuring relationship may trigger negativity that has been lying dormant for years. It is important to discover its origins—perhaps in childhood—to diminish its power in your adult life. To avoid reinforcing those negative thoughts, try to “simply stop” them as they rise up to plague you. Meditation is an excellent method. By focusing your attention on your breath or an object, you can begin to gently dismiss disturbing thoughts as they arise. Another exercise is to practice looking at each negative issue from different angles and list several different ways of viewing it.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Cultivate positive, active people with enthusiastic natures who regard life as a gift whether one is partnered or single. Remember, attitudes are contagious.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Living alone provides the guardrails of friends and inner autonomy as insurance against losing oneself in that first delirium of infatuation and prematurely surrendering to a relationship you might later regret.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Living on one's own is not always ideal - but then, neither is marriage. The mated format is charted territory. Those venturing into singlehood are the Lewis and Clarks of a pioneering lifestyle with few maps, unexpected ambushes, and an infinity of adventures. Therein lies its glory!”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“When we live alone time and freedom are at the service of our muse in a way that artists in a relationship might envy.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“REMEMBER THAT BEING BY ONESELF IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING ABANDONED. THE WORLD IS STILL THERE.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Don’t depend on a partner for your self-esteem. Never give away your value to someone else.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Let go of the idea that someone else can make your life wonderful. Your happiness is in your own hands; that’s the safest place for it.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“(we believe there is something essential we don’t have that’s obtainable. what we long for doesn’t exist, not anywhere. the ache is in the belief)”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“It’s unrealistic to expect to be completely accepted and understood in life.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“I sat down with paper and pen and just wrote, recklessly, without judgment, without spell-check. It was like going deliciously mad on the page! Where did these feelings come from? Who was feeling them? Who was writing such odd thoughts and images? Each time I surfaced I came back with a strange creature I treasured. Whether the world would equally treasure my captives wasn’t important; they were mine and I welcomed them home like family.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Know your enemy as though you are planning for an invasion; determine when and where they are likely to attack and be ready to refute their messages.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Wings unclipped, there was only me playing with empty space that kneeled to my will.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Stop believing that marriage is the solution to loneliness. It is easier to jettison this idea if you’ve been half of a failed couple and can remember the pain of daily alienation. Seeking escape from loneliness is a dangerous reason to be coupled. It’s best to solve the loneliness issue on your own as insurance against dragging it into a future relationship. Create an environment of social and self-support that can protect you from forming inappropriate relationships based solely on need.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Our surroundings compose a portrait of who we are, what we value and what we think of ourselves”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Try not to worry about what others will think—you alone are inside your soul and know what will bring you the greatest satisfaction and make you feel fully alive. Be acutely aware of the things you enjoy and have always wanted to do. Don’t dismiss an interest because you think it’s too late to start. Remember, Socrates wanted to learn to play the lyre three days before his execution!”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Whether it’s that first mark with a brush on a canvas or pencil to paper, boldly make it and then let yourself free-fall. Art creates art.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Why be saddled with artifacts that no longer inspired me?”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“An artist produces for the liberation of his soul
If he is successful, in the end, he will draw
a complete picture of himself. —SOMERSET MAUGHAM”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Be reckless. What’s the worst that can happen? We’re hoping to be surprised by some unrestrained part of ourselves that can’t be expressed in our ordinary lives. The discoveries we’re after can only surprise us when we’re ready to accept whatever we uncover.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“I felt as if I were a goalie preventing the pucks of negativity from scoring.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“In my obsession with intimacy I hadn’t paid much attention to the rest of the world.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“(our living space is our closest companion, always communicating, always reflecting our process of change)”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“I was beginning to notice the variety of human connection available instead of obsessing about what is missing.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Be open to a wide range of new experiences. The more lines you have in the water, the greater the possibility of catching something remarkable.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Stop dwelling on events and people who have disappointed you.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Creating a “cared for” environment is a way of showing yourself respect and reinforcing it daily.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“intensify the search,” meaning we should reach more deeply into our interests and offer them as much devotion and surrender as we would to a lover.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Open an IRA to shelter some of your income. This is a fine way to build a nest egg for the future.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It

“Negative thinking never bit into me when I was working or in the company of friends, but after long hours alone I would be bombarded by doomy thoughts.”
― Barbara Feldon, Living Alone and Loving It